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“No, look, I don’t mean to dump this on you today, and I could have waited, but I know you’ve booked flights already…” He sighed, but at the mention of flights, I knew what he was calling for. He must have received an email from the agency.
Fuck.
“It’s about Zach,” he began, and then, he paused.
Please tell me you’ve got good news. Because my heart already hurts, and my head is messed up.
Leo, a cop, was my inside track in the search for my twin, Zach, but we always kept what we did—researching, following leads—to a weekend here and there. He’d been helping me when he could ever since I’d received a random email, a little after my eighteenth birthday, revealing that I had a biological twin that I’d never known about. I’d been adopted at a young age, and my birth parents were a mystery. All I knew was that I’d been left at a fire station in Bowness, Calgary, when I was a few months old. That I’d been adopted by Mama and Papa Byrne, same as my siblings Leo, Reid, and Lorna—all four of us wanted desperately and loved unconditionally.
There were no clues to my heritage either, although the DNA sample from my ancestry account showed I was forty percent Welsh, with a smattering of Irish, so maybe that was a clue. Since I’d received that email from the Sibling Discovery Network, or SDN as they’d called themselves, I’d embarked on a relentless search, often with Leo’s help, but to date, we’d encountered dead ends, false leads, and nothing more. The SDN promised they would help track down Zach pro bono, said it was sponsored by charities, but it didn’t matter that I never had to pay them, because they came up empty-handed. I’d never met my brother, heard from him, or even seen him from a distance.
Who knew if he was even alive?
I rubbed my chest—surely a twin would know if his brother had passed on. Right?
Could this day get any worse?
“Check your personal email when you get home, but… I’m sorry, Jax, SDN said the Vancouver lead they had turned out to be a dead end. So, there’s no need for you to travel up to BC. I just thought if I called, you could get a head start on refunds on the flight?”
That was Leo, forever practical. Disappointment crushed me, and I slumped to sit on the wall, feeling defeated. I’d been due to fly up next Tuesday, as soon as this kitchen was squared away, and I’d deposited the check, and filed the paperwork. I’d already packed, had a hotel room reserved in the center of the city, and two addresses that SDN had given me to check out.
“They’re sure?” Sometimes it felt as if we were chasing shadows.
“The email was pretty specific but read for yourself.”
“I will,” I managed to say, trying to hide my disappointment.
Leo’s tone softened. “Don’t give up, Jax. We’ve come this far, and we’ll keep searching until we find him.”
I felt grateful for Leo’s unwavering support. Despite our sibling rivalry growing up, we loved each other. All four of us, the adopted Byrnes kids, were close, thanks to the love of Mama and Papa Byrne. “Thanks,” I murmured.
“Check the email, and you know where I am if you want to talk, but I’ll see you next Sunday at Mom’s for dinner anyway. Reid and I are off-roster, and even Lorna will get over, since she’ll be back from New York by then.” It wasn’t just the four siblings who would be there, there were all the partners and kids, so it would be chaos.
At least, I could stay quiet and hope they didn’t ask all kinds of stupid questions.
“I’ll be there,” I replied. Leo was the easiest one to talk to out of the four of us—quiet, thoughtful, and open to discussion. Maybe he could talk me round and show me that it was okay for Arlo to be out there dating, and that I didn’t want Arlo, and that what I was doing was being selfish and spoiled. “Leo, can I ask you something?”
“Sure, I have five minutes until I need to leave. Daisy has a play date, and Jason is working.”
I thought I needed longer than five. Maybe a week. Shit. “It’s okay, it can keep.”
Thank God, he didn’t push. “Cool. Oh, and Mama says to bring Arlo to dinner,” Leo said.
“Arlo? Why?”
“Because it’s funny watching you moon over him?” Leo deadpanned.
“I do not moon over Ar—him.” I was firm. Particularly now that he was out there dating, and I’d fucked up and lost my chance.
Leo snorted. “You moon over him as if it’s the mooning freaking Olympics, and you’re going for gold in the mooning high jump.”
“He works for me,” I added and wished I hadn’t because that gave things away, and Leo was far too perceptive for his own good.
Leo tutted. “Is that really the lie you’re going with, little brother?”
“Fuck you.”
“Whatever. You know I’m right.”
