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I freeze. “Yes.”
“Missy, if you want…our pack can see you through this heat. You will be safe and cared for.”
I swallow hard. “I’m not sure.”
“You don’t have to say yes, no pressure, but I’ve done some research, and they say it’s painful.” He grimaces. “That sounds so blasé. But the point is, I appreciate what you’ve done, how hard you work, putting up with us, and we’d like, no, I want to do this for you. I’d want you to have a good memory for your first heat. There will be no requirements to continue doing anything unless you want to before or after.”
My cheeks are scorching hot, and I can’t make eye contact. “I’ll think about it.” I hesitate and turn to him. “So, you’re saying if I wanted to have sex, and you wanted to, you’d be okay with that?”
“So long as you know it was all I could offer right now.”
I nod my head too quickly.
“Good.” He clears his throat. “Good. Yep, yeah. Okay.”
I tilt my head to the side. Is he nervous? “Would you like to watch a movie with me? I’m not ready to go back to bed.” It’s a spur-of-the-moment request, but the moment it comes out, I’m glad I make it.
He nods, looking relieved, and comes to sit on the couch beside me. He’s not close enough for us to accidentally touch, but I can still feel his body heat. I shiver.
He stands up and comes back with a blanket and tucks it around me before he retakes his seat. We end up with a comedy that I’m sure neither of us pays attention to.
It’s not long before I notice that he’s falling asleep. He lists to one side, and without thinking, I reach out and tug him gently towards me.
I don’t know how it happens, but Darion is asleep with his head in my lap. I throw the blanket over him and continue watching the movie until my eyes grow too heavy, and I, too, succumb to sleep.
“No!”
I wake with a start. It’s still dark, so we can’t have been asleep for longer than a few minutes. Darion thrashes on my lap. I reach out and touch him, but he snags my hand and holds it so tightly it brings tears to my eyes.
“No, please, I’ll do anything. Don’t. Please. Don’t do it, no. I won’t. I don’t want to.” Darion’s terrified and whining voice strikes into my mind. I bite back the sob I want to let out and pull myself together, kicking my horror-struck mind into gear and shaking him roughly.
“Darion! DARION.”
He jerks awake, his gaze jumping all over the room as he registers where he is.
“I’m sorry to wake you up, but my legs are numb.” I say with a smile.
He sits up. “Shit, sorry.”
I get up with a wince and go to the kitchen and put the kettle on.
“Want a coffee?” I think I’m hiding it well. I force a smile and beam at him, but he stares right at me.
He nods. “Missy?”
I turn towards him. “Yeah?”
“I was dreaming, wasn’t I?”
I hesitate and then nod. “But it’s none of my business. I’m not asking questions. If we get to know each other well enough, maybe you can tell me then.”
He looks relieved. “I’m sorry.”
“That is the only thing you don’t have to be sorry for.” I say firmly. “It was nice watching a movie with you.”
He stares at me like he can’t work out who I am.
“I didn’t hurt you?”
