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“You mean, charming, funny, and delightful?” I chuckle as she swats at my chest.
“No, I mean wild, crazy, and impatient.” She looks up at me and takes my face between her hands.
“I’m worried about you?”
“Don’t be.”
“You're keeping us safe, Jacob.” She always knew how to read my mind.
“What if they find us?”
“They won’t.”
She sighs and kisses my chin.
“Maybe you need to let go of your past, Jacob. Maybe it's finally time, you're not the same man you once were.”
“You're right, as always of course. I’m overthinking everything. I just want you both safe.”
“We are.” She smiles up at me, and we kiss until Emmy comes running back in ready to go run outside.
I feel a tear hit my arm and I rub my face. I hadn’t realized I was crying. My final memory of my family is tarnished with darkness.
Who I once was, that man doesn’t exist, the only man that lives on is the shadow of the one that had found his peace, but had it ripped from his fingers to only feel anger and hatred.
I knew that if Grace saw what I was doing to Savannah she would think I was the devil.
Not that I wasn’t when I met her, but she somehow changed that side of me. I didn't feel the need or desire to kill for pleasure. Instead, making love to her was what I took pleasure in.
But now that she’s gone, the only pleasure I desire is pain.
I feel nothing. The only fulfillment I get now is seeing how red Savannah’s skin can go before it bruises. Or how much pain she can take before she breaks.
I know my time to be with my family is coming. I know that once I finish Pasquale, his men will take my head. But not before they torture and beat me to within an inch of my life.
Somehow, I look forward to that day, and I know that is all kinds of fucked up.
I mean, I have to be a complete psycho to want to be tortured right?
But somehow, I think the torture will take away the pain I live with every day.
Savannah is a means to an end, something to enjoy while I bide my time for the real fireworks show.
The final ending.
I pull my bible and rosary out of my drawer and stare down at them. I once held these close to my heart. Grace was a big believer that He has a plan for all of us.
That everything that happened was God’s plan.
“I call bullshit, big man.” I hiss and throw them back in the drawer.
I left that life behind, the man I was then.
He died when they did. When Pasquale took my family from me.
I know I could go wake Savannah up for a release and make her suck me dry until I’m coating down her throat, but she needs all the energy she can get for what I have planned next for her.
She’s mine, and I plan on making her in every way possible. I'm not saying she’s going to like or even enjoy what I have in store for her, but I don’t give two fucks if she does or not. She belongs to me until I decide otherwise.
