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I nod my head in affirmation, and she hides her face in her hands, and her shoulders are trembling.
“Joyce, is it really true?” Jane says, looking at me as if hoping it was a lie.
“It is,” I say, ashamed, even though I have no reason to be. “I’ve been having morning sickness for the past few weeks, and the pregnancy test came back positive.”
“And what are you going to do?” she asks, sounding desperate.
“Have the baby,” I shrug. “And raise my baby with the help of my family.”
Jane touches my hand, and squeezes it tight, wrinkling my duvet in the process.
“Joyce, I… I… You can’t do this to yourself!” Her voice is teary and heavy.
“Logan needs to help you!” she continues, shocking me.
I pull away from her yet again, protecting my hands by placing them in my lap. “You just said I can’t trust him. And you’ve been wanting us to break up this entire time.”
I’m starting to get whiplash from how quickly Jane is changing her tune.
Antsy, she searches desperately for words, and finding none, raises her arms and pleading hands into the air.
“I had no idea you were pregnant!” Jane says, without looking at me.
I say flatly, “Well maybe if you would have actually talked to me, you would have known, Jane.”
But it’s like she isn’t even listening. Jane is just sitting there wide-eyed in shock with the news that I’m pregnant with Logan’s baby.
“Joyce, you’ll need him!” she says emphatically. “How will you take care of this baby on your own?”
I scoot back, pressing my back against the headboard.
“I told you. I have Sophia, Gabby, and mom, for the time being. I hope her remission holds and that she will be with us for as long as possible. They are my support system. I’m not alone, Jane. I’ll be okay,” I say.
I see her crossing her arms and frowning hard.
“So, you have everything all figured out, do you?” she asks. “Joyce you can’t possibly be thinking straight!”
I grab a puffy pink pillow and punch it right in the middle, because I can’t punch Jane.
“Stop making me feel so low!” I plead, tears threatening to pour out again. “Sometimes I think you only befriended me just to have someone around to feel superior to!”
Now Jane seems taken aback and offended at my words.
“I befriended you because you were smart, and I needed the answers for a test,” she says honestly. “But then I saw you were nice and started hanging out with you.”
“Then why have you been pushing me away from Logan all this time? And now suddenly, you are wanting to rekindle the flame between us?” I ask. “I’m confused, Jane!”
Her eyes are watery, but she hasn’t shed a tear. Instead of crying, she wipes her eyes, and with a deep breath, regains her composure enough to say, “I had ulterior motives.”
Now I cross my arms and look at her, exhausted and just waiting to hear what she has to say.
“I wanted you and Logan to break up because I wanted things to go back to the way they were,” she says, looking ashamed. “Maybe with each of you separated, I could have my brother and my friend back!”
I realize I’m holding my breath and when I’m finally able to breathe again, all I can think of is scolding Jane.
“How childish can you be?” I shout, not worried about being overheard. “You could have just accepted us to begin with!”
“Please don’t scream at me! I’m sorry. I was wrong and selfish and immature. Can you please forgive me?” she asks, now crying full-fledged tears.
