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“Jane, please get out.” I point at the door. “All I’ve tried to do is understand your side and try to repair our friendship. I need to think right now. I’ll let you know later what I decide.”
That’s my polite way of saying that I don’t want anything to do with her anymore, and oh, she knows. Jane sobs, still not moving from where she’s sitting.
“Joyce, I love you!” she says. “I made a horrible mistake and I’m sorry. The baby… It changes everything!”
I feel a catch in my throat and one more time I point her out. “I’m sorry, Jane. I need you to leave.”
Looking at me with a stance that asks how dare I, Jane crosses her arms and walks out of my room, leaving my house for good.
I just lay there and try to make sense of what just happened. Jane has been trying to keep Logan and I apart all this time, and when she finally succeeds, she wants us to be together after all? And she expects me to just forgive her and be friends again just like that?
I shake my head. It doesn’t make any sense.
And then there’s Logan. Why did he go behind my back and pay to get me a scholarship? I made clear I didn’t want him to pay for my tuition and that I was going to find a way to take care of it myself.
Why didn’t you listen to me?
Why did you lie to me?
Why?
Chapter Thirty-Two
LOGAN
Threedayshavepassed,and Joyce still doesn’t want to talk to me.
She won’t call or text me back. I check my phone like a maniac, but it’s always the same: nothing.
I even sent a message through Jefferson to see how she was, but he said she was already switching jobs, likely so she’s not in my circles anymore.
The worst part is Anna. She is sulking, dragging her feet everywhere she goes, and looking at me as if I’m guilty of murder.
I just wanted to help…
I’m lying on the couch as Anna plays with her dolls on the floor. It’s after-hours, so Carol is not here anymore. It’s just me, Anna, and Mary cooking us dinner, but Mary doesn’t get involved in our business as long as we don’t get involved in hers.
The smell is good like only Mary can achieve, especially with the health food I’ve been asking for. Between that and me hitting the gym religiously, I’m trying to shoo away my depression over Joyce.
But it’s not working.
I feel lower than dirt. I feel like I don’t deserve the air that I breathe.
But part of me wonders if what I did was really all that bad.
Can’t she see that I just wanted to help?
I want to explain myself to her, but I don’t know what I’d say because I feel like I’d do it all again so she could finish school.
I force myself up, then follow my nose to the kitchen. I’m getting hungry and my stomach can’t wait anymore.
“Smells nice,” I announce, entering the kitchen and looking around, searching for any exposed food exposed to nibble on.
Mary laughs, satisfied, then steps away from the stove to let me see what’s cooking.
“Baked sweet potatoes, seared duck breast, and a medley of vegetables.” She turns to me and continues, “I hope that’s fits within your new diet!”
“It does. Thank you,” I smile softly, but it doesn’t reach my eyes.
