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He let out a sigh and watched the emotions play on her face. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Pasting on a smile, she responded, “I don’t know what to say.” She rubbed her hands together softly. “I do want you to know that I’m not interested in a random fling.” She motioned in front of her with her hands. “I don’t do that. Can’t. I can’t do that.”
“NO, no you’re not random.” He scooted closer to her and rushed on, “Sam, that’s just it. I walked into your office, and I was stopped dead in my tracks when I saw you round the corner. It was like an electrical current running through me. I have never, NEVER, had a reaction like that to anyone … ever. That’s why I believe there’s something here. I so badly want to explore it and see where it goes. I want to spend time with you, get to know you, and see if this is as special as I think it could be.”
“We barely know each other. How can you know it’s special?”
“I don’t know. It’s a feeling. I’m not lying to you when I tell you I’ve never had a reaction to anyone like I had – have—with you.”
She swiped across her face, smoothing away the worry. “I have to tell you, it does worry me. I don’t want to get involved with someone who can’t become emotionally attached. I don’t want to get my heart broken. I’ve had a lifetime of that. I want an honest-to-goodness all-out loving relationship with someone who wants to be with me as much as I want to be with him. The cheating worries me. The inability to connect worries me.” She turned to watch two squirrels play in a tree just outside the window.
He watched her slightly rotate her shoulders to relieve tension. She sat back and looked into his eyes. “My biggest fear is that I won’t be able to keep you interested in me for a prolonged period of time. You’ll get bored and need other stimulation. I’m not very remarkable.”
Gray sucked in a breath and leaned forward. “Did I just hear you correctly? You don’t think you’re remarkable?” He reached over and took her hand in his. Slowly caressing her fingers with this thumbs, he marveled at the softness of her skin, her small perfectly manicured fingers only adorned with a gold thumb ring on her left hand. She should have beautiful jewelry to complement the woman she is.
His voice was rough and foreign to him when he finally spoke. “You’re the most remarkable woman I’ve ever met. I mean that, but if you tell my mother I said that, I’ll deny it.” He smiled and released a breath when she grinned.
She turned her hand in his, clasping his fingers with hers. “I wouldn’t want you to judge me by my past; I know it can’t be changed. I do want to explore this relationship as well if you honestly think you want to. But, until we can trust each other, we need to be open and honest. If you get to a point where you don’t think you can emotionally connect with me, will you be honest with me? Can you do that?”
Gray leaned over and kissed her lightly on the mouth. She stood and twisted from side to side slightly. Stepping in front of him, she kneeled taking his hands in hers.
“My back is a bit knotted, and leaning wasn’t helping anything.”
His breathing hitched up, and his heart pounded in his chest. He took in her submissive position and nearly exploded. Her eyes looked so earnest, her lips soft and kissable, his dreams playing out right in front of him.
Afraid he’d scare her away, he leaned back into the sofa. “Your turn.”
She furrowed her brow in confusion, and she began to stand. He put his hand on her shoulder, a silent command to stay where she was. Their eyes connected and held and what he saw there was his future.
“Well, I was married for twenty-nine years, and we dated about two years before marriage. I wasn’t a virgin when we met. I had had two other boyfriends before meeting Tim. I was faithful to him during our marriage. I’m pretty sure he was faithful to me. Most of the time, he was so depressed that he wasn’t interested in sex. The last two years of our marriage, we didn’t have sex at all. So, counting this last year since Tim has been gone, I haven’t had sex in three years.”
He cleared his throat, “I suppose you think I’m a selfish person for not staying faithful during my marriage. Your marriage wasn’t much better than mine, and you did. If I could change it, I would.” He let out a long, ragged breath, a bit embarrassed at his lack of strength.
She stared into his eyes, her lips briefly formed a straight line, then lifted into a soft smile. “We all deal with our issues in our own ways. I shut down; you reached out. Neither one of us was right. We just did what we needed to do to get by.”
Sam stretched up, and Gray leaned forward to meet her lips with his. He grinned at her initiation of a kiss. Progress. He reached under her arms and pulled her forward onto his lap. His heart swelled when she snaked her arms around his shoulders. He captured her mouth with his as his arms encircled her waist pulling her fully into him. Their tongues danced, their lips softly gliding together, soft, moist kisses he’d never forget.
Ending the kiss, he put his forehead on hers. His breathing was ragged.
“Sam, I remember just getting back into the dating scene, and I know it can be scary. Trust me; I don’t expect anything from you. When I walked into your office and saw you with Mrs. Koeppel, I thought you were so sweet to take care of a little old lady and make her feel so special. I remembered thinking, ‘What a kind person she must be to be so thoughtful of others that way,’ when you had not long ago suffered your own pain and sorrow. You didn’t seem bitter and angry; you seemed happy and loving and kind. Do you understand how different and special that is to me? After living with a manipulative, condescending, selfish woman for so many years, to come across a woman who I think is sexy, smart, and kind to others, it seemed like God was finally answering my prayers. I knew then that I would do whatever I needed to do to get to know you, to see if this could be something special. I want to know you, Sam. I don’t expect anything from you except a chance.”
She inhaled and looked across the room into the cold, dark fireplace. He followed her line of vision then looked up at her alluring face. The dainty gold balls she wore in her ears caught a glint of light; a few gray hairs peeked through the blonde highlights at her temples. His lips lifted in a smile as he was reminded of their ages; he felt like a teenager again until he looked into a mirror or stood after sitting for a time.
“A chance is perfectly acceptable to me. It’s more than I thought I’d ever get again—the chance to find someone to finish my days with.”
He chuckled. “I’d rather not think of finishing my days but starting them if you don’t mind.” Her soft perfume floated over him, and he inhaled deeply, wanting even her smell imprinted upon him.
She giggled then, and the sound was like a special piece of music. “That does sound better – starting.”
They sat for a time; he enjoyed holding her in his arms. After a while, she laid her head on top of his and sighed. His cock thickened of its own accord and he knew she’d feel it pressing into her backside as she sat on his lap. It became painful in its confinement, and he found it necessary to readjust or lose one of his favorite body parts.
He gently lifted her hips and set her beside him on the sofa. He turned to face her, pulling his knee up between them and took her hands in his.
“I don’t want to jump the gun or seem too forward, but I do want to ask you if you’ve ever … experimented? Sexually, I mean.”
Her brows rose then furrowed. “Experimented? You mean like positions or something?”
He kissed her fingers then cleared his throat. “I mean like tying up, erotic positions, things like that.”
She gently pulled her hands away and stood. She let out a deep breath and stepped to the large picture window. “Are you into some sort of dominance stuff?”
