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“That it was the right choice.”
A tear slipped from Allison’s eye, drawing a long, warm path down her cheek. Her head felt full of static. Colin was leaving. He hadn’t plagiarized her. It was impossible to process any of this in the middle of her father’s wake.
For now, she tucked it all away. She needed time to think, to order everything she’d learned into some sensible form.
Until then, she grasped tightly to her good news. Clutched it to her heart. Whatever had happened between her and Colin, Allison hadearnedthis.
Wendy patted her hand. “You’ve proven to me again and again over the last few months that you share my passion for medieval literature, and I think our interests dovetail in ways that will allow us to learn from each other.”
“But I’m a horrible teacher,” Allison blurted out. She’d been so certain for so long that this would keep Wendy from ever choosing her.
Her professor let out another good-natured laugh. “I was never looking for perfection. Besides, I’m not sure I believe that’s true.” She gave Allison’s hand a squeeze. “And even if it is, you’ll get better. You’ll grow.”
Grow.Allison liked the sound of that.
She was tired of always striving to be the best.Besthad been something she’d wanted for Jed’s sake. To make him care. To prove him wrong. And it hadn’t gotten her anywhere.
Bestwas what she and Colin had tried to be. It had only pushed them apart.
Maybe, instead, she’d aim forbetter.Because better meant there was always more to learn.
Chapter 40
“I’m going to be next door for a bit, but you kids eat up. It’s been a long day.”
Allison’s mother set a stack of pizza boxes on the coffee table, waving away money as Sophie, Link, and Ethan tried to pay her. Cleo, who was right on her heels, toppled Link onto the couch in her haste to reach the cardboard tower. Her nose sniffed the air frantically.
The scene sent Sophie and Mandy into a fit of laughter from their spots on the floor.
The aroma of garlic and cheese filled Allison’s nose and summoned a growl from her stomach. The wake had felt so long she couldn’t remember when she’d last eaten.
They’d been back at her house for almost an hour, and Allison had yet to find the energy to go upstairs and change. Her tights stuck to her legs, and her feet ached from her shoes, and her bare shoulders were cold without her cardigan. Shivering, she wrapped a throw blanket around herself, fighting off the urge to take a nap.
In front of her, her friends threw open the boxes and dug in, their voices a low, comforting rumble in a house that had been too quiet for the past five days. Allison closed her eyes. Their presence was likesinking into a well-worn couch or opening a favorite book. It was the feeling of Chaucer’s iambic pentameter rolling off her tongue.
No longer did she feel alone or left behind. Sophie had been right. All this time, while Allison feared her best friend’s life was changing, growing without her, the same had been happening to her. Even if Sophie got that job in Boston, even if she left, she wouldn’t be abandoning Allison. And Allison would be far from on her own.
As she watched them, her mind played back over her conversation with Wendy. For the rest of the wake, Allison hadn’t been able to stop dwelling on what her teacher had said about Colin. No doubt she’d contributed to the pressure he was under that had caused him to doubt his original topic. Allison had been so insecure about herself as a teacher that she couldn’t resist flaunting all her strengths. She’d known it bothered him. And for so long, that’s exactly why she’d done it.
Yes, he’d made the choice to change his presentation to something closer to hers, but Allison had helped push him off that cliff.
Pulling her phone from her pocket, she brushed a thumb over the screen and started a new message.
Allison Avery: Why didn’t you tell me you talked about the loathly lady tales?
A moment later, the response dots popped up. Her heart danced with their blinking rhythm until they disappeared.
She dropped her head back against the sofa with a sigh.
“Are you okay?” Sophie was already standing up.
Allison waved her off. “I just…” She sighed again. She didn’t have the bandwidth to hold on to secrets anymore. They’d never done her much good anyway. “You all saw Wendy Frances at the wake, right? She came to tell me that she’d chosen me for the research trip and advisee position.”
Sophie clapped her hands. “That’s great!”
“I know.” Allison fussed with the hem of her dress. “Except, apparently, Colin’s presentation wasn’t quite as close to mine as I’d originally thought.”
Mandy’s eyebrows arched. “Oh?”
