AllFreeNovel
Share Us
As an undergrad student, whenever Allison had felt uncertain about how to interpret a text, she’d approach her confusion head-on by participating first in class. The things that made her anxious were always easier to handle if she didn’t let them balloon out of control. She figured it couldn’t hurt to try that method here. “Professor Frances,” she said as soon as her teacher sat down.
“Call me Wendy.”
“Wendy. Sorry.” Damnit. Would she ever get the etiquette here right? “After a conversation I had with my recitation groups, I’ve been thinking a lot about Grendel’s mother, and the significance of the primary femalecharacter inBeowulfbeing both a monster and a mother. So often, mothers are characterized as monsters in medieval and early modern texts, and even the medical literature makes their bodies sound unnatural.”
Wendy’s expression brightened. “Your students are already interested in Grendel’s mother?”
Allison nodded. She might as well have gotten herself a shovel for how heavily she was piling it on. “They were all so engaged, they’d read ahead and had a ton of thoughts.”Lies. Lies. Lies.
“That’s impressive. They must have felt incredibly comfortable to take a risk and talk about a part of the text I haven’t reviewed with them yet.”
Colin observed their conversation quietly, a wide smile slowly unfurling on his face. He looked… well, shit… he looked proud of Allison. As if he’d expected nothing less from her. She was pummeled by a wave of contradictory emotions: shame for lying, regret for competing when she shouldn’t be, and something a little too close to affection for her liking.
Wendy moved her gaze to him. “What about you, Colin? How did recitations go this week?”
“Not as great as Allison’s, clearly,” he said with a wink. (Seriously, awink. Allison wanted to spear a piece of her waffle and fling it at him. Square between the lenses of his glasses.) “But I thought my students did a good job of asking questions about the reading and adjusting to the format of recitations.”
Nodding thoughtfully, Professor Frances—no,Wendy; Allison had to start learning to think of her that way—prodded them to share some specific moments from their sections. Allison did her best to let Colin take the lead so she could avoid digging herself a deeper pit of deception, but it was impossible to listen to the sincerity with which he recounted his students’ thoughts and questions without feeling the need to make herself shine a little brighter.
Once they’d both had a chance to speak, Wendy clasped her handsin front of her and sat up a little straighter. “I hope that you both know how thrilled I am to work with you,” she said. “And how impressed I am with the progress you’ve already made with your students.”
Allison shifted, guilt creeping like spiders across her shoulders. Imagine how unimpressed Wendy would be if she’d witnessed Allison’s actual first few days of teaching.
“I wish I could say that I’d asked for this lunch solely to talk about pedagogy. Unfortunately, I have a bit of regrettable news.”
Allison’s muscles were instantly in knots. When she glanced at Colin, he was staring back at her, his eyes full of questions. Was Wendy about to drop one of them as a TA? Had she been assigned too many by accident? Who would she pick? And what would Allison do if it wasn’t her?
“I’m afraid I won’t be able to take you both on as advisees as I’d originally hoped.” Wendy pushed her tray aside to lean toward them. “I take my advising responsibilities seriously, and with new graduate students, it’s so important to be present. When we accepted two medieval studies students this year, I thought I’d have the time. But now my research funding and my sabbatical have come through together, and I won’t be able to give you both the attention you deserve.”
This couldn’t be happening. Allison wrung her hands in her lap hard enough to squeeze the blood from her knuckles. Working with Wendy Frances had been her entire motivation for applying to Claymore. What was she supposed to do if that wasn’t an option?
Beside her, Colin nodded stonily, his arms crossed. His left cheek worked as he worried it between his teeth.
“What happens to the person who’s not chosen?” Allison asked.
“I will, of course, help them find a suitable adviser and support them in any way I can.”
Allison had been working toward this her entire life. She couldn’t just pick a new area of study like a game of eeny, meeny, miny, mo. “Can you be a medievalist without an adviser in the field?”
“We will find a way to make it work,” Wendy promised.
Colin cleared his throat, the first noise he’d made in a while. “I appreciate your generosity and would be thrilled to work with you, no matter the capacity.”
If shooting venom from one’s eyes was possible, Allison was doing it to Colin at this very moment. What happened to not trying to one-up each other? His obnoxiously even-keeled response had made Allison look like a petulant child. She fought back a scowl as she mumbled, “Same.”
Wendy raised her mug of coffee to her lips and blew lightly on it, sending a ghost of steam across the table. “I know this is inconvenient and I am truly sorry for it. My hope is to use the semester to get to know you both so I can make an informed decision, but I promise no matter what happens, you will get the best guidance and preparation possible, so don’t let that be a worry.”
“When will you decide?” Colin asked.
“Before Thanksgiving break.”
Two months. Allison braced herself. She had sixty days to ensure that Wendy chose her. When their eyes met, she saw the same thought reflected at her in Colin’s steely gaze.
“Let’s put this aside for now. As best you can, I’d like you to push this whole thing from your minds and focus on your coursework and your recitations.”
Allison and Colin maintained their stare as Wendy lowered her head to take a dainty bite of the cream-sauced chicken on her plate. Allison sat so straight it felt as if her spine might bend in the wrong direction. Colin’s slim shoulders were curved toward his ears, his sharp jaw pulled tight. Their expressions said everything their mouths couldn’t. Whatever truce they’d cultivated over the past few days was now over.
It was every woman for herself. Allison would win this advisee position, even if she had to ram straight through Colin to get it.
