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“Hey,” she said quietly. “You okay?”
He cleared his throat, his already angular shoulders sharpening as his back went taut. “Just dealing with the cat.”
“He’s not in the sink.”
Colin only went more rigid.
Moving beside him, Allison laid a hand on the small of his back. She tried to angle her face into his line of vision, but he glanced away, forcing her to use the window’s reflection to read his expression. “If this is about Ethan, he’s an assbag. We know this.”
“Yup.” The muscles in his jaw flexed as Colin threw open the drawer beside the sink. Silverware rattled like there was an earthquake. He grabbed a handful, which he then shoved into Allison’s hands.Spoons, forks, and knives spiked out in all directions. “While we’re in here, let’s get that cake I bought.”
“Colin.” It felt like she was trying to communicate with him through a wall of glass.
His hard gaze stung as it fell on her face. “I don’t want to talk about this. Especially not with them here.”
Allison had to fight off a flinch. This was the former Colin. Back at Brown, when he was upset, he always closed down like this. Shut her out. Found a way to ramp up the competition between them to avoid the heavy stuff.
She turned away, cradling the silverware to her chest. She’d only taken a step before he caught her arm.
“It’s the same stuff that always eats at me,” he said. “The insecurity. The fear I don’t belong here. Twenty-five rejections and one acceptance. Not exactly Ethan’s odds. And I’m sure everyone else is the same. Link probably got into ten schools.” He shook his head. “I’m sure you did, too.”
That shadow of the old Colin dissolved, leaving behind the man she now knew. The one for whom she’d fallen so hard, who opened his mouth and told her what he was thinking.
“I absolutely did not,” she said. “And where people got in doesn’t matter. We’re all at Claymore, and webelonghere.”
He pushed at the bridge of his glasses, nodding. “I know. I know. This lecture for Wendy is just getting under my skin.” He pulled his lips tight. “Sorry. I know we’re not supposed to be talking about that.”
Allison took his hand and squeezed it. “We can if you need to.” She meant it, too, no matter how nice it had been the last few days not to obsess over all the reasons why Colin could still snag this mentorship with Wendy right out from under her. It was like they were no longer competing. They could just… be… together.
He shook his head as if rattling out his thoughts. “I’m good.” To prove it, he gently tugged her toward him, and, cupping her neck with his free hand, drew her face to his.
Silverware crashed at their feet as Allison freed her hands to loop them around his neck. For a second, she forgot their classmates were in the other room. There was only Colin and her, only the dance of his fingers across her back, his tongue in her mouth, the sharp smell of his hair gel in her nose.
She stumbled back, back, back, until her spine pressed against the cool door of the refrigerator.
Colin fisted her shirt in his hands, stretching it against her chest as if he meant to tear it from her shoulders. His mouth was hard against hers. Like if he kissed her deeply enough, he could banish every bad thought in his head.
She wanted to be that powerful for him, and she kissed him back as if she could be.
Without thinking, her hand drifted across the front of his jeans. He moaned into her mouth, an invitation to increase the pressure, but then Allison heard the worst possible sound.
Ethan’s voice. Approaching. Closer and closer. “Colin, do you have any actual alcohol in this house?”
They didn’t have time to separate, or collect themselves, before Ethan was there, framed in the doorway, his mouth hanging open. Allison fussed with her hair while Colin shrugged his cardigan back over his shoulders.
“What were you two—”
“Nothing,” they insisted in unison.
That seemed to be the last piece of evidence Ethan needed. Pivoting, he strode back toward the dining room, Allison and Colin on his heels, hissing his name. As soon as he was in sight of Mandy and Link, Ethan flicked a hand over his shoulder. “Well, they’re fucking,” he announced. Tasteless and with absolutely no affect, as usual.
Allison’s heart drummed as she glanced, wide-eyed, at Colin. Now everyone would know. They’d be scrutinized endlessly. Watched like some sort of teen soap opera. It would be too much pressure, liketheir rivalry. They’d implode under it before they even figured out what they were.
Her mouth moved in protest, but she couldn’t find the words to deny it. She didn’t want to pretend that what she and Colin had didn’t exist. Though he’d gone white under his freckles, the set of his jaw suggested he felt the same.
Before either of them could defend themselves, Mandy laughed. “Of course they are.” She grinned widely at Allison as if they shared a secret joke.
Link, too, was nodding. “You two have been hate-flirting since the first day of classes. I’m honestly surprised it took this long.”
