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Feed it something else.
Clicking open her presentation, she stared at the first slide for what felt like the hundredth time.
Beauty Is a Beast.
Chapter 33
It was a truth universally acknowledged that the acquisition of a Ph.D. resulted in a total loss of one’s ability to properly manage electronics.
Allison observed this hypothesis in play as Wendy and Colin hustled around the front of the lecture hall jabbing the buttons on the control panel and poking at Colin’s computer, all while waving at the projector as if it were powered by a motion sensor.
“I swear this thing is vindictive. I called it archaic last week and now it refuses to function.” Wendy’s bracelets (thick onyx cuffs this time) clacked over her head.
“Everything’s plugged in, right?” Allison called from her seat. She’d offered assistance twice, only to have Colin practically shove her off the dais. It must be some presentation he had cued up because he hadn’t been able to sit still since he’d rushed into the room a few minutes ago, his pale forehead a swimming pool of sweat.
This isn’t about you,Allison reiterated to herself for what felt like the fiftieth time.He’s nervous.After this, they’d talk like he promised and everything would go back to normal. Crisis averted. Hill climbed. Enemy dueled.
“Obviously, everything’s plugged in,” Colin replied in a huff.
“So then what’s that?” Allison gestured to an HDMI cable flailing against the side of the podium.
“Shit.” With a sheepish grin, he jammed the plug into his adapter and the gigantic screen behind him burst into brightness. Captain Pepper Jack, larger than life as he perched on the back of a worn sofa, surveyed the class with his typical apathy.
Returning to their table, Colin wrestled a notebook out of his bag and began flicking through it. The loose pages rattled against his trembling hands.
“Hey.” Allison grabbed at the front of his cardigan. It was a gun-steel-gray cable knit with a hole in the left pocket he’d had forever. She remembered it vividly because he’d worn it the day he broke up with her. Then, she’d thought it was the ugliest article of clothing in existence, but now she appreciated how it broadened his shoulders and lured the green from his eyes. “Take a breath,” she urged.
He started at her touch.
She pulled her hands back into her lap. “Is this about Charlie? Did something happen?”
Colin’s gaze honed in on what Allison could see was an empty page in front of him. “No. No. Nothing like that.” He swallowed. “I’m just ready for this to be over.”
“You’re going to be great. Your recitation students love you, remember?”Unlike mine,Allison’s tone said. She was surprised by how much she liked that he’d understand the subtext. No more secrets. “Ilove you.”
He shook his head. There was so much gel in his hair that it didn’t move. Nothing soothed Colin’s nerves like styling products. “Talking the whole time, though? With Wendy here? I don’t know this stuff well enough to do that.”
Allison frowned. “Of course you do,” she said. “You’ve done the work. It’ll be there for you when you need it.”
His sharp Adam’s apple bobbed with another hard swallow. Hewas chewing on the inside of his lip. She tried to take his hand, but he was a step out of reach.
Rubbing his eyes under his frames, Colin finally focused on her. “What if… what if today doesn’t go as planned?”
“What do you mean?”
He closed his eyes, his shoulders pushing back, bracing for something. Was he worried about tanking this? Or about what would happen if his presentation was so good he won the mentorship?
Allison would be disappointed. And a little pissed. But if Colin earned the spot by his own merit, then she couldn’t hold that against him.
For the first time, she truly let herself consider what it would mean if he won. It would suck. It would hurt something fierce. But unlike with the Rising Star, they’d get through it together, not let it tear them apart. She believed that with her whole heart.
“We’ll be okay? No matter what happens today?” It was almost a plea.
Allison angled across the desk and caught his hand. “We’ll be okay,” she promised. “Always.”
He closed his eyes like he was meditating. Or letting her words absorb into his skin. When he looked at her again, his gaze was a black hole, sucking in everything else around them. There was only the smell of hair product and soap and the way his presence pinned Allison in place like ink dried to a piece of parchment and the drum of her heart in every bit of her when he was this close.
He brought her knuckles to his mouth as he’d done a million times before, and yet somehow it was charged with something different.
