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“So it’s something that has nothing to do with the game, then.”
I knew he would argue, but I didn’t expect him to hang on like this. I’m starting to wish I had written him a letter or something just so I could avoid this. All of a sudden, my skin feels like it’s too tight for my body. “It’s complicated, like I said. It’s not easy for me to talk about it.”
“Well. I wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable.” There it is. I knew surprise would turn to bitterness. I just didn’t expect it to happen that soon. Well, I’m sort of screwing him over. I can’t blame him for resenting me a little. Finally, he’s got his team moving in the right direction, and I’m about to screw everything up.
“Do you think a trade would be possible?”
He scrubs his hands over his face and groans. “Possible? Sure. The way you’ve been playing this season, there will be plenty of interested owners. I wish you would stick it out here, though. We’re finally starting to build something. I hate to say it, but it feels a lot like now that you know what you’re capable of, you want to go somewhere else where you can be the star.”
“That’s not true at all.” I wish like hell he wouldn’t glare at me the way he is. There I was, telling myself I didn’t owe him an explanation beyond what I’ve already said. I should’ve known he wouldn’t make it that easy.
“So, you’re having a great season. You’re supposedly happy here. But you want to go.”
“Yes. That’s right.”
“You’re going to give up everything you’ve built here. Your home, your friends.”
It’s my turn to groan. “Please, believe me. This isn’t how I wanted it to be. But there’s no other choice.”
“Then that answers the question I asked myself after your fight.”
“What’s that?”
He looks downright disappointed when he shakes his head. “I knew it. I told myself not to read too much into it, but I’ve seen enough fights to recognize what was in front of me out there. It was obvious what the three of were fighting over.”
No. He doesn’t know. There’s no way he could’ve kept something like that to himself. Absolutely not.
Right? Or maybe he’s been so happy with Harlow’s work, he didn’t want to fuck things up by calling us out. Shit. Is that it? My palms were already sweaty, but now there’s a cold sweat on the back of my neck to go along with it.
“So?” he asks with a sigh. “You’re fighting over a girl. It’s not the first time that’s ever happened. Though I admit, I hoped the three of you were smart enough not to let something like that get in your way.”
A girl. He didn’t name a specific girl. I’m so relieved, I could laugh.
“Whoever she is, she’s not important.”
If he only knew. But then, no, he can’t ever know. I’m not sure what I should say, either, whether I should argue or tell him he’s wrong. I don’t know how much I want to engage him or whatever. I mean, I’m not the only one involved here. As pissed as I still am with Soren and Ash, I’m not trying to drag them into this. I’m sure as hell not going to bring Harlow’s name into it. I have to protect her. It might be the last thing I can ever do for her, my only way of proving how much I care. She’s basically taken all my other options away, after all.
But that doesn’t mean I’ll stop caring. I wish it were as easy as turning my emotions on and off. I might not feel like I have to do something as extreme as getting the hell out of town.
“Like I said, it’s complicated. That’s the most I can tell you.”
“So you’re not fighting over the same girl?”
“No.”
“Fine, fine. If it makes you feel better, you can keep it to yourself.” He leans back in his chair again. “Obviously, there’s nothing I can say to change your mind. All I ask is that you do one favor for me. Just one.”
I don’t like the sound of this. “I’ll do what I can.”
“Think about it. Just give it a little time and think about it. Can you do that? Or are you in too big of a hurry to get out of here?”
He will not be satisfied until I give him what he wants, so I offer a shrug. “Fine. I’ll think about it. But my decision isn’t going to change. I need you to know that.”
“Just do me a favor and reconsider, all right? That’s all I ask.”
“Okay.” Not that thinking is going to change anything, but if that’s what he needs to hear, so be it. I’ll think about it.
And in the meantime, I’ll be packing. Because wherever I go, it has to be better than here. Facing her, facing the guys? I don’t know how long I’ll be able to do it before I reach the end of my rope. I’m not going to let it come to that. I’m going to bow out while I have a little pride left.
