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“I thought Cormac’s new wife was a cook or something. Can’t she help?”
“Lily is a chef, and she has her hands full with work and Cormac’s children. I’d rather hire out.”
“Alright. Well, good luck with everything. If I can help when I’m in town, let me know.”
“Will do. See you soon.”
When he hangs up, I feel untethered, like someone cut my strings. I know we’re supposed to relax and recuperate after we finish a fire, but calming down has never been my strength. Miranda pops out of the tent. “You good?”
“Yeah, why?”
She shrugs. “Family is always messy in my experience.”
“It was for me too, for a while. Before I found smoke jumping. Now that I have a career, things are less messy with them.”
“Really? My family hates that I do this.”
I chuckle. “Oh, they’d prefer I did almost anything instead of risking my life, but I have a direction, and I think a lack of direction is scarier to them than anything else. They’re…”
“Proper? By the sound of the voicemail—"
“That’s just Beau. My family likes ambition and doesn’t really understand those who don’t want to climb the corporate ladder. That’s why when our baby sister Maya fell for a boat captain and chose to sail around the world with him, everyone kind of freaked out. Everyone but me, anyway.”
She laughs. “Okay, but it’s kind of fair of them to freak out about that.”
But I just shrug. “She’s figuring herself out. I think that’s great.”
“It is. I hope that’s working out for her.”
“According to every time we hear from her, she’s ecstatic.” She won’t be at the party, but from the sound of things, everyone else will. I’m kind of excited to see them all. It’s not like when I was younger and dodging my family out of fear of their judgment or them talking me out of what I wanted to do. These days, things are better between us, and I plan to keep it that way.
Our airplane flies overhead, coming in for a landing. Time to pack up and head back.
-
7
Aria
The conversation with Lily left me rattled, and that is the only reason I said yes when she invited me to Cormac’s mom’s birthday party. Certainly not for the eligible bachelors she promised who would be in attendance.
Though it doesn’t hurt.
I sigh to myself on the drive to the MacMillan mansion. If I’m completely honest with myself, she struck a nerve. I miss sex. And companionship. And having a conversation about more than crayons and lesson plans. Over the years, I’ve gotten more insular, and that’s only worsened the loneliness. Things feel safe when it’s just me and Owen, but that also means I don’t have a partner and he doesn’t have a dad-figure. I can’t keep shutting down the possibility of love out of fear. I have to do something about it.
Which is why, when I pull up to the mansion, butterflies traipse through me like elephants. I park where an attendant directs me and I cannot seem to step out of my car. I’ve parked next to a Rolls Royce and a BMW. These are not my usual people. These are the people I work for. It’s going to be so weird to see them outside of school, and I’m sure they’re going to be awful—
My social life has been next to nothing and my romantic life is even deader than that, so suck it up and get out of the car. Stop delaying.
It’s so much easier to tell myself that these people are miles different from me than it is to confront the thought that we’re all just people. Childhood teasing never really goes away. My clothes were thrifted, but most of the kids in my class had labels. My backpack had to last for years, and they got a new one every season or whenever they wanted it. Some of these people were likely the bullies who teased me when I had to wear shoes with holes in them. And I’m invited here all the same.
The place hasn’t changed since I came to Lily’s wedding a month ago. The mansion itself is three stories, with vines growing up the front. Lights glow in the bushes and some of those are shaped like cones. A lot of trees behind the house, but not enough to call it a forest. With winter baring the branches, I can see the ocean through the naked branches. Stark, but beautiful.
This could be a huge mistake, and I’m doing it, anyway. I didn’t get a babysitter for nothing.
It’s brisk out—not frozen—so waiting in line to get in isn’t awful, but I’m relieved to feel the warmth pouring out of the front door. I check my coat with the doorman, and Lily spots me, sweeping me into the mansion. It is glorious, the picture perfect place I’d always thought places like this would be on the inside. Gray and white marble floors, gilded chandeliers, all the trappings of wealth, yet tasteful at the same time.
“Hey, this way,” Lily says, guiding me into a ballroom.
