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“It was this powerful, cosmic thing that I have never forgotten. Leaving her the morning after…I’m still not sure how I mustered the strength. The only thing that pulled me out of her bed was the possibility of finding something bigger in the Andes. I wanted enlightenment, but I think I found it in her bed. I was a fool for leaving that day. Not that I regret it, understand. Regrets are for people who don’t learn from their mistakes. And I had to find my own way, and it led me to smoke jumping, and that has been my reason for being ever since. But nothing can hold a candle to what I had that night.” Speaking the truth is exhausting. Exhilarating, too, but exhausting all the same. I’m yawning before I can stop.
Lily frowns. “If this magical night happened almost six years ago and you’ve been bummed out ever since, then why weren’t you bummed out the day after our wedding, too?”
I chuckle. “I haven’t been bummed out since then. Honestly, I’ve been living my life to the fullest, and I enjoy what I’ve built. I’ve even tried to date, such as it is. But when I ran into her again at Mom’s birthday party, it went sideways. But she took my number and called me a while later for a date. Which I took as progress. Like I might finally get her in my life for real.”
“Well, what happened?” Cormac asks.
“Everything went great. Until it didn’t. We connected like we did that night, and we clicked and it was all working, so I went in for a kiss when I walked her to her car, and,” I huff, “she turned and gave me her cheek.”
“Ooo,” Beckett says, wincing. The others give me sympathetic looks that make me want to flee. I hate sympathy. Sympathy is for the pathetic. Not for people like me. Except right now, I am a little pathetic.
“Yeah. I’ve called Aria a couple of times, and she hasn’t returned my calls. Thought there was something real between us. I was sure she felt it, too. I’m just not sure why she plays hot and cold.”
“Aria?” Lily asks.
“The girl you were dancing with at Mom’s birthday party,” I say, nodding.
“Oh.” She gets tight-lipped fast, as she flicks her fingers against her thumb. She looks like she’s counting to ten to calm down or something.
“I’m sorry. You probably didn’t want to hear all of that about your friend—"
“No, it’s fine. She’s a grown-up. If she has one-night stands and handles things badly afterwards, that’s her thing. I’m not judging anyone in this. Just, um…can I offer you some advice?”
I’m hesitant to say yes. “As much as I’d like some insider information on her, I kind of want to handle this free of outside influences. I don’t want to convince her to give me another shot because I cheated to get there.”
Lily nods. “Okay, all I’ll say is, she is worth trying again.”
“That much I already knew.”
Cormac says, “If you really want to pursue her, it will help if you are here more than just some vacation time. Can you take a leave of absence?”
“I’m not sure. If she gives me any indication that she’s interested, I’ll look into it.”
-
15
Aria
I have no clue what to expect from Lily when she texted me, insisting on an early Saturday morning breakfast at her new restaurant. Thankfully, Mom and Dad were happy to take Owen for the day.
I’m excited to see her new place. It’s in her parents’ B&B, a quaint old building not far from my condo. The nautical theme carries throughout, even to her new restaurant. It’s so pretty—ivory walls with navy blue furniture. A few exotic potted plants in the corners and some kind of ivy dangling from a long chandelier. Gold lighting above, and a gold-topped bar. Everything is pristine and polished and why the hell am I the only person here?
“Hello?”
Lily pops out from the back with a smile and something else in her eyes. I can’t get a read on her. She gestures toward the bar and walks behind it herself, and I’m reminded of when she tended bar back in college. “What are you drinking today? White wine spritzer?”
“A little early, don’t you think?”
Lily laughs. “It’s practically juice.”
“Yeah, okay. What is going on?”
“What do you mean?” She sets to work on my drink.
“There’s no one else here. I could hear a pin drop.”
“We’re closed for inventory. The crew will be here in a couple of hours. It’s an all-day thing, but all-day for restaurant people usually means the afternoon. Perfect time to meet with you here. Where no one can hear us.” The edge of her tone concerns me. She passes my drink and makes one for herself.
