Page 112 of The Nanny


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“How long have you known?”

I swallow. “Since I saw your scar.”

“So, the entire time that we’ve been...”

I nod again.

“Jesus,Cassie. How could you not tell me?”

I shut my eyes tight. He definitely sounds angry. “I was afraid.”

“Afraid of what?”

“It’s just... you disappeared so suddenly back then, and I thought—God. I guess I was naive. I thought you actually liked me, and that you actually wanted to meet up. So when you werejust...gone, I just—” I blow out a shaky breath. “I didn’t want to have to go through that again. Especially now that I... know you. It would be so much shittier now.”

“Were you ever going to tell me?”

My eyes fly open, and I can’t help it then, turning to face him so that he can hopefully see the sincerity in my face. “Yes! I was going to tell you tonight. I was going to tell youtoday, actually, but then you... um, distracted me, and there was all of that shit with Iris, and you had to go to work, and I just thought we needed to have an actual conversation about it, and—”

I go quiet, finally noticing his expression. It’s angry, to be sure, and confused, sure, but I notice that there is none of the emotion I had been most afraid to see.

Disappointment.

Aiden doesn’t look disgusted, or put out; sure, he looks like he’s mad that I let him in my bed so many times without telling him the truth, but somehow it doesn’t feel as dire as I thought it would be.

“I’m sorry,” I say quietly. “I should have told you sooner.”

His eyes are still hard. “Yes. You should have. I still can’t believe you didn’t.”

“I know.” I look down at my feet again. I’m still half-naked and covered in fucking wine. This couldn’t get any worse. “I know. I’m sorry.”

I’m still staring at my toes while I wait for him to say something, feeling my pulse pounding in my ears as I wait and see whether Aiden will choose to try to talk this out with me, or if he’ll ask me to leave. I’m not ashamed of my past, and I won’t let someone make me feel like I need to be, not even Aiden—but damn if it won’t hurt if he turns out not to be who I thought he was by trying to make me feel that way. Then again, I did keep things from him, so maybe he would be justified? I don’t know. It’s making my head hurt, and at this point, I wish he’d just get it over with.

Whatever “it” is.

Chat with @lovecici

You have no fucking idea what I would do to you if I could actually touch you.

I have an idea.

Do you? Do you have an idea about how I would use that pretty little pussy of yours?

Fuck, A.

What else?

CHAPTER 20

Aiden

I’m too stunned to say anything. Of all the things I could have imagined coming home to, this wasn’t even in the immediate vicinity of possibilities.

I know that she’s waiting for me to open my mouth and say something—staring down at the floor with resigned defeat as if she’s already made up her mind that I’m going to push her away over this. I can’t pretend that I am not angry that she kept it from me, but probably not for the reasons she might think. I just hate the idea of her putting herself through hell with worry when she could have been honest with me. I even understand, I think, all the reasons why she didn’t. After wondering where she went for so long, even now, would I have also been hesitant to chance her disappearing again?

I thought you actually liked me, and that you actually wanted to meet up.

That’s the part that’s sticking out to me. All this time I assumed that it wasmewho had misunderstood things. Has she spent all this time thinking the same thing?

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