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“It is,” I say matter-of-factly. “He’s a great dad, and he loves his daughter, and I wasn’t going to be the reason someone takes her away from him.”
“Your leaving doesn’t change the fact that he left her with an elderly stranger and then went radio silent when she needed him because he was withyou.”
“And I can’t change that,” I tell her. “I know that. It was a mistake. I can’t take it back. But I can make sure I don’t cause them any more pain. Even if it means hurting them to do it.”
Iris looks at me for a long time, her blond brow knitted and her mouth pursed while she studies me.
“Why exactly are you telling me this?”
“Because you need to hear it,” I insist. “I know that Aiden’s schedule is crazy, but he’s been working so hard to find a balance for Sophie. Headoresthat little girl. All he wants is what’s best for her. I don’t understand why you would try so hard to take her away when shewantsto be with him.”
“She doesn’t know what she wants,” Iris says a little quieter, averting her eyes.
“I think she does,” I argue. “I saw it every day for weeks. How much she wanted to be with her dad. You have to know that it would hurt her if you separated them, so why the hell are you trying so hard?”
“Because Ihaveto,” she huffs, running her fingers through her hair. “You don’t get it.”
“Then explain it to me.”
“And why should I?”
“Because I’m offering to listen, and I’m starting to think there isn’t anyone else in your life who has.”
“You don’t know anything about my life,” she scoffs. “You can’t possibly know what it’s like to lose your only family.”
I smile at her, but it’s hollow. “You might be surprised.”
“Oh? You know what it’s like to wake up one day and your sister is just... gone? Your other half, the most important person in your life”—she snaps her fingers—“gone. Just like that.” Iris looks up at the ceiling, her eyes shining. “She was all I had. Our parents are dead. Did you know? Since we were teens. I basicallyraisedher, and I didn’t even get to say goodbye. You can’tpossiblyknow what that’s like.”
“You’re right,” I tell her truthfully. Unfortunately, I was subjected to my parents for a very long time before I was able to get away. “I don’t know what that’s like.”
“And then my niece, the only part of Rebecca I have left—suddenly she’s ripped away from me too.Daysafter we buried Rebecca.” Iris runs her fingers through her hair, looking lost. “My sister was suddenly gone, and then some guy who only saw her once or twice a month comes and takes her? Just because he shares her DNA? How is that fair? I watched Sophie come into this world. I held Rebecca’s hand while she pushed. I cut Sophie’s cord.Me. Not Aiden.Me.And now she’s...”
Her eyes are red, a wetness there that threatens to spill, and for the first time since I met Iris, I don’t see the guarded woman that she’s been every time we’ve met. I see a scared, grieving sister, a lonely aunt—someone who doesn’t know where she’s going or what to do next. For the first time since I met her, she seems... sad. Not any different than I am right now, really.
“I can’t lose Sophie too,” Iris whispers, a quiet sob in her throat. She wipes her eyes. “I’m sure you’re enjoying this.”
I shake my head. “I’m not. I’m just thinking that we all could have avoided a lot of heartbreak if you and Aiden could have a real conversation.”
“You don’t think I’ve tried?”
“Buthaveyou?” I give her a pointed look. “Listen, I know Aiden. He’s a good man. He’s definitely not an unreasonable one. He wouldn’t keep Sophie from you out of spite. Look at how these last few months have been. Haven’t we been finding ways for both of you to be in her life?”
Her mouth snaps shut, a guilty look in her eyes as she stares down at the table. “That wasn’t Aiden. That was you.”
“I’m glad to hear that at least some part of you still believes I cared about Sophie.”
“Listen, I’m sure you do, but you have to understand—”
“Youhave to understand that Aiden is going to make mistakes. With or without me in his life. I don’t think the measure of a parent is the mistakes they make. I think it’s how hard they work to fix them.”
Iris stares at me with a bewildered expression, turning her head slightly like she’s trying to figure me out. “I don’t get why you want to help so badly. You said you left.”
“Yeah.” I laugh bitterly. “And it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Now I wonder if it was even the right thing.”
“So why are you trying to help me?”
“I’m not,” I correct. “I’m trying to helpthem. I want Aiden and Sophie to have every bit of happiness that they deserve. If that means spelling out to you how to have an actual conversation like a normal human being... well. It’s worth the awkward conversation.”
