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Aiden’s mouth parts, his expression softening. “She told you that?”
“She did,” I tell him gently.
Aiden scrubs his hand down his face. “She never talks about Rebecca. Never. I’m always trying to get her to open up, but she—” He closes his eyes, taking a deep breath. “She always acts like she’s fine.”
“I think she worries about you,” I venture. “I think she’s afraid of how her feelings might makeyoufeel.”
He laughs bitterly. “Even my own daughter thinks I’m not fit to take care of her.”
“Hey. No.” I take a step, having to stop myself from going to him. I know that’s not my place. “I don’t think that’s the case at all, Aiden. I just think that she is thinking of your feelings just as much as you’re thinking of hers.”
“I really am trying,” he says. “I know that Iris probably thinks I’m the shittiest dad in the world, and maybe I was there for a while, but... I’mtrying.”
“I believe you,” I say, because I do. “I’m sure it’s harder to know what to do with someone like Sophie. She seems so tough.”
“She does,” he agrees. “Tougher than me.” He shakes his head. “This probably isn’t what you signed up for,” he says with a dry laugh. “I’m sure you didn’t take the job expecting to have to be a family therapist.”
“No, it’s okay. Really. I can just send you another bill,” I say, trying for some levity.
I’m rewarded with a choked laugh. “Right.”
“Listen, I feel terrible to be dumping all of this on you on top of everything else you’re dealing with, but I just...” I can see the exhaustion on Aiden’s face, and not only from a hard day. I can see an exhaustion that seems to weigh on him from the inside out. “I really care about you guys.” His eyes widen a fraction, andI avert my gaze. “I just know a little bit about how Sophie feels, and I don’t want her to ever grow up with regrets like I did. You, either, for that matter.”
“I don’t want that either,” he stresses. “And I’m sorry for bringing up bad feelings for you.”
“Oh, no, it’s—” My mouth drifts closed as memories crop up unbidden, and I feel something heavy in my chest. “You’re nothing like my parents, Aiden. I promise you.”
“Was it that bad?”
“Worse.” I huff out a bitter laugh. “My parents were shit. The entire time I was growing up, I had to hear about how the only reason they had to work so hard was because ofme. Like I was some sort of burden. I mean, they didn’t want me from the start.”
Aiden’s brow knits in sympathy. “They didn’t?”
“I guess I should count myself lucky that they were so religious,” I snort. “Might not be here otherwise.”
“Cassie...” I can tell he’s struggling with what to say, and I can’t believe I’m actually blurting all of this out. Normally, I do my best to avoid talking about it at all. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s fine,” I answer flippantly, ignoring the slight ache in my chest. “I’m only telling you this because my parents... they wereneverthere. I put myself to bed, I made my own dinner, I spent weekends talking to a ridiculous number of imaginary friends just to simulate some sort of human contact. That kind of loneliness can really fuck a kid up.” I give him a pointed look then. “But you aren’t them. And I know that because I know what shitty parents who don’t care look like. Iknowyou care, Aiden.”
Aiden is looking at me strangely, like he’s seeing more than I’d like him to. I feel mildly embarrassed for oversharing now, wishing that he’d say something to clear the air.
“I’m sorry,” Aiden says again after a beat. “I didn’t... I really appreciate you telling me this.”
I take a deep breath. “I’m sorry if I overstepped.”
“No, I... you’re right,” Aiden goes on. “Of course you’re right. I’m doing a shit job at this.”
“No, you’re not,” I argue. “You’re human, Aiden. It’s okay not to get it perfect. I just... thought you would want to know. How much Sophie misses you when you aren’t here.”
Aiden hangs his head, reaching to run his fingers through his hair in exasperation as he heaves out a sigh. “I know. I need to do better.”
“I’m not trying to make you feel bad,” I assure him. I chew at the inside of my lip, afraid of overstepping again. “I just want to see you guys happy, that’s all.”
The way Aiden is looking at me makes my skin warm, his expression softening into something that is far too heavy for what we are. It makes me feel dizzy.
“I’m sorry you had to pick at old wounds,” he says softly, breaking the spell slightly. “But I appreciate you sharing with me.”
“It’s fine,” I answer softly. “It’s all in the past now.”
