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“I found it!” Little footsteps patter down the hall, drawing our attention. Sophie comes back into the living room with her leather-bound prize, looking entirely too excited for a bunch of old pictures. She plops the book down on the coffee table before sinking to her knees beside it. “Do you have any pictures of polar bears?”
Wanda chuckles, settling back into her rocker. “Never did see a polar bear, sugar. I think you’ll find a great picture of a moose in there somewhere though.”
Her eyebrows shoot up. “Amoose?”
“Antlers and all,” Wanda says with a grin.
“Cassie, have you ever seen a moose?”
I shake my head. “Never.”
Sophie pats the spot beside her on the carpet. “Come look with me.”
“All right, all right,” I laugh, pushing up from the couch to join her on the floor.
Sophie points out every snowy photo from the album that catches her eye, actually squealing with excitement when she finds the aforementioned moose photo. Wanda tells her all abouthow they came across the massive creature, and while they talk, I think about what Wanda said.
Only liars say they’re fine.
It’s laughable, given how accurate it is, because the truth of it is that I’m not fine, not really. In fact, I’m living in a nightmare of my own making. A purgatory built on my own choices. Because I can pretend I don’t care why Aiden disappeared from my life a year ago, I can pretend that it doesn’t matter to me anymore, or at least, I could have, maybe... before I met him.
I’ve been lying to myself in all sorts of ways lately. I’ve been lying to myself and saying that I only want to make this work for Sophie’s sake. I’ve been lying and telling myself that it doesn’t matter that Aiden isA, because at the end of the day, this is just a job, he is just a guy, I am just the nanny, and there’s no reason to let any of this bother me.
But he has a face now. He tells jokes. He asks about my day. He kisses his daughter’s hair. He ruins pancakes. He listens to me when I tell him my concerns. He worries about how I’m feeling. And sure, he’s so good-looking it kind of hurts to look at him sometimes—but that’s not nearly as important.
Because as much as I would like to pretend otherwise... IlikeAiden. As much as I thought I’d likedA.And as much as I tell myself again and again that I don’t want him to find out who I am and cut ties with me again because it would hurt Sophie, I know deep down it would hurtmetoo. It would hurt for him to disappear again, and knowing that is the most dangerous thing of all.
Especially since, if he finds out... that’s exactly what he’ll do.
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CHAPTER 10
Cassie
Did you have fun at Cassie’s friend’s house last night?”
Sophie nods around a bite of her Frosted Flakes. “She’s so weird.”
“Weird?” Aiden looks at me curiously. “Is weird good?”
I nod. “In Sophie-speak... I think it is.”
“Ah,” Aiden chuckles. “Of course.”
It’s a normal Sunday morning. We woke up as usual, we’re eating breakfast as usual, and everything seems easy and sweet and worry-free. And it is, mostly. Except for me.
I keep wondering if he’ll notice that I have a hard time looking at him, if at any given moment he’ll notice the way heat rushes into my cheeks and my ears when I do it for too long. Every time it happens, every time my gaze settles on him and remains there for longer than a handful of seconds, I remember everything that Aiden has seen, how much he doesn’t evenrealizehe’s seen... allof me. I remember hushed conversations and sweet, filthy words all murmured in a dark room that he probably doesn’t remember.
All that time I wondered what he looked like, and now that I have a mouth to match the words, hands to match all the things he said he wanted to do with them... it’s hard to think about much else when I look at him.
“What do you think, Cassie?”
