AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Is Sophie having fun?
AIDEN
A blast. She’s kind of shy though. I can tell she’d like to join in with some of the other kids, but I can’t get her to take the first step.
CASSIE
She’s at a weird age. It can be hard making friends.
AIDEN
I know. I just hate seeing her struggle with it.
CASSIE
You can’t force it. It will happen. She’s too amazing for it not to.
AIDEN
You’re right.
Now hurry and get going so you don’t have to speed.
CASSIE
Okay, okay. Will do, Daddio.
AIDEN
Evil.
I laugh as I stow my phone in the pocket of my pajama pants, finishing the rest of my coffee and rinsing the mug before putting it in the dishwasher.
It’s funny, really. School used to be a greater source of anxiety; how I would pay for the next semester, if my loans would process, if I’d have to defer for another year—but with the salary I’ve been getting here, I’ve hardly needed to think about it at all, this last month. If it continues, this will be the first year of school I can pay for out of pocket without even thinking about student loans.
I don’t think I will ever fully get over what this job pays.
And that’s another part of this whole thing that makes me feel guilty; that’s ontopof the knowledge that I still haven’t figured out how to tell him that this isn’t the first time we’ve been intimate, even if it’s the first time he’s touched me. There have been moments this week where I’ve wondered if it should bother me, the fact that I’m receiving wages from the man I’m sleeping with—but I tell myself that the two things are wholly separate. The fact that we’re making sure to keep our... antics away from Sophie’s eyes means it’s notcompletelysordid. It’s only a slight differentiation, one that probably doesn’t offer nearly as muchjustification as I would lead myself to believe—but it’s something, at least.
Still, it’s a little wild to think about only having one more year left of school—what should have been two years of grad school turning into four thanks to the wonderful experience of having to work my way through it. It’s a complete relief to see it coming to an end, to finally be close to the opportunity to get out there and do some real good, but I won’t pretend that it’s not a little unnerving, thinking of what I’ll do with my life after this. There’s a certain pressure that comes with graduation, with getting out into the world anddoingsomething that has me reflecting on all the other aspects of my life, wondering where I might be in five years.
Thoughts that are only made more confusing by the distracting man with a dizzying smile thrown into the mix. I know that it’s entirely too early to even bedaydreamingabout anything with Aiden Reid, but can I really help it if some part of me is constantly thinking about the possibility of losing all of this? And not just Aiden but Sophie too. And that’s the driving factor that keeps me from telling him everything. For the first time in a long time, I feel almost like I belong here, that I’m doing good here, and given that it’s the first real family to welcome me... is it my fault that I would want to do anything I could to hold on to it a little longer?
This entire line of thought leaves my head a complete mess.
I am not naive to the fact I don’t have a lot to offer Aiden and Sophie outside of myself, that there are years and vast differences between us that I can’t change—but I can’t help but think about his quiet “I shouldn’t be thinking about you as much as I do” and its sequel, “I feel like I’m going crazy,” and that means something, right?
It’s silly of me to pin such notions to something so new, something that neither of us really knows what it even is—but I can’t help it, really. It’s just that Aiden Reid makes me feel a little crazy too. It’s enough to make anyone wonder.
It’s enough to make anyone worry about what waits for us at the end of this.
—
Our labs this time focus on assistive-pediatric-seating equipment, and focusing on the functions and parts of the different types of chairs they’ve brought in for us to study is a great distraction. I’ve been testing out the different tilting functions of the Rifton I’ve been assigned for the last twenty minutes or so, and I think I’m nearly ready to move on to the next model.
“Help me install this harness, would you?” Camila holds up the optional butterfly harness that can be added to this model. “I can’t figure out where it clips in.”
“Here,” I say, holding out my hand. “I think it clips in here.”
