Page 4 of Only With You


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It’s only been a couple of hours since I took off from Ranveer’s house, yet it feels like an eternity.I am lost in my thoughts, trying to puzzle out how to cross this bridge, when my room door opens with a slight squeak. Though I open my eyes, I don’t turn to see who it is; I don’t need to. I know who has come. In the past two hours, my mom must have checked on me a hundred times. I have no clue what to say to make this all bearable and make her feel at ease. But reliving the pain of seeing Ranveer with his wife and daughter has made it impossible for me to stay strong. I am trying to hold it together for my parents’ sake. However, every passing minute is a losing battle before I completely break down.

“Baby, I made chicken soup. Do you want me to bring it here for you?” Mom asks as she comes to stand next to me.

I turn my face to her and narrow my eyes, whilea tiny smirk forms on my lips.“Chicken soup? Mom, is that why you really came?”

“Ahh…” she bites her lip and gives me a small smile. “That, and I also wanted to check on you. Are you okay?” she asks as she gently moves her hands on my head.

I pull in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Can I be honest?”

Dropping her hands to her side she nods her head,studying me with worry in her eyes. “I won’t want it any other way.”

All of a sudden, I feel my throat clogged due to the tornado of emotions that is rife within me.I brood over the last couple of hours. My entire world has crumbled down in the blink of an eye, knocking me out of my cuckoo land so vigorously that I am not sure what exactly hit me.

I rub my forehead and meet Mom’s gaze.God, I don’t even know what I can possibly say right now. I was lost in a bubble with my husband with whom I fell in love such that I turned a blind eye to who exactly he is— a cheater and a liar.

“To tell you the truth, Mom, I am feeling so numb. I truly loved him so much that I never imagined that I would receive betrayal as a payment for my love. But here I am—hurt, broken, sad, angry, and disappointed.” I take a momentary pause as the agonising memories rupture to the surface, forcing a reaction out of me. I want to yell and shout it out but I don’t. Instead, I draw in a deep sigh before resuming, “I am struggling to find answers to why Ranveer would hurt me like this. I… I thought we were happy. Over the last few months, he didn’t give me a reason to doubt him otherwise.” I shake my head and try to not let my lip quiver. However, the catch in my voice and the harrowed look in my eyes have a story to tell of their own. “He was always so loving, caring, and possessive about me that I still can’t understand why he lied to me, something that I never dreamt that he was capable of doing. Mom, I don’t think he even realisesthat he has broken my heart in the worst possible way.” A humourless chuckle escapes my lips. “The worst part is, I trusted him, and I thought we had something special. I thought my love was enough for him, but I was wrong. So wrong.”

Concern reflects on Mom’s face, but the next instant, it transforms into anger. “Baby, we will never forgive him for bringing tears to your eyes. But we don’t want you worrying about it, your dad will handle this.”

I pull my head back and stare at Mom. Anxiety shoots through my body. I know Dad won’t be at peace till he doesn’t see a smile back on my face. I am aware my parents are hurting as much as I am. “Where is Dad?”

“He is in the living room, talking to the lawyers regarding the divorce.” She takes a brief pause before continuing in a strained voice, “With his first wife in the picture, I don’t know if your marriage even holds valid in the court of law.”

Anincredulous gasp leaves my lips. My marriage doesn’t even exist? God, what does that make me? I feel so light-headed and nauseous that if I don’t take a breath, I would pass out from lack of oxygen. “He has humiliated me to the core, Mom. Please, Mom, help me out in getting the answer to why he didn’t just come clean about his wife and daughter. If they wouldn’t have shown up today, I don’t know how long it would have taken him to concede.” My eyes dart over her face as I take quick breaths and mumble, “Or maybe, he never planned on confessing it. The gospel that he wanted to keep me in the dark shreds my heart into pieces,” I whimper, struggling to keep my emotions in check. I am moments away from bursting into tears.But I’d rather cry now than do so for the rest of my life, standing next to a man, who cheated on me. I will just not settle for a relationship which is based on lies. I am going to move on from this and never look back.I pep talk to myself. The thought is overpowering for a second, but then it vanishes just as quickly as it pops up.

My mind is foggy with Ranveer’s vision. I try to shake them off, but in vain. They keep drifting in front of my eyes, tormenting me. The idea of living the rest of my life without Ranveer breaks my heart.

“Baby, I wish I had answers to your questions, but I don’t. I really wish I had the power to make you forget the pain he caused you but it’s not in our hands. We can guide you, but in the end, it’s your call to take. At some point, you will have to decide how you want to take your relationship with him. But regardless of what choice you make, we will support your decision.” Mom’s warm voice pulls me out of my trance.

Her words bring a sense of heaviness to my heart as I attempt to get a grip on my emotions. “I know he is not mine and can’t hold him forever. I know I need to let him go, but I seem to have no control over my stupid heart.”

“Stop hurting yourself. You don’t have to decide now. Take your time.” Her face softens, which wipes out the next minute as her face becomes grave. “I just pray to God your husband doesn’t show up here. Your dad has a list of curses ready to throw on his face. Not to say anything about the plan your dad plotted of burying his body in the backyard. All thanks to the crime show he has been watching off lately.”

I let out a soft chuckle at her attempt to lighten my mood. And I must say it does help in lifting a bit of my sadness. This is the reason my reliance for alleviating my problems is on my parents.; they know every trick to make me smile and every magic to make my sadness disappear. “I love you both. Thanks for always standing by me.”

“We did promise that we will always have your back, no matter what. Don’t ever forget that.”

Before I can assure her that I believe her words, my phone rings, and I see Ranveer’s name flash on the screen.

I meet her concerned gaze. “Ranveer.”

“Do you wish to take the call?”

My lip quivers. Pursing my lips together, I stare at my mobile screen. My throat constricts, and I bite on my lip to stop the trembling. After a few fractured breaths, I let the call go unanswered and look up at Mom to tell her that I don’t wish to speak to him right now, but when I open my mouth, no words come out. I try to blink back a tear, but it escapes and slides down my cheek. Mom grabs my hand and urges, “Come, lie down for some time.”

“I don’t want to lie down. I am fine.” I somehow manage to get the words out.

“You need to rest and calm yourself. I am not taking no for an answer, so stop arguing and do as I say,” Mom says with authority in her voice.

Having no energy to argue, I allow my feet to move slowly and she drags me towards the bed.

Reaching my bed, Mom flops down onto it, gesturing for me to rest my head on her lap. I silently comply and let out a sigh as I close my eyes. She then caresses my head, while I struggle to control my emotions, unsure whether I am lamenting over losing Ranveer or his betrayal. A mix of both, I am definite.

“If he makes you unhappy more than he makes you happy, then let him go. It does not matter how much you love him,” Mom whispers.

Flinching at her words, I shake my head, as I murmur in a voice filled with emotions. “It’s not in my hands. I can’t stop my heart from loving him.”

Mom takes my hands in hers and gives it a gentle squeeze. “Do you not hate him for what he did to you?”

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