AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I break into a cold sweat and can feel my heart in my mouth. A whimper makes its way through my pressed lips as I barely get the words out. “I want to hate him, Mom. My brain agrees with it, but I have no control over my heart. I just can’t make myself hate him. Please don’t ask me questions which make me more vulnerable than I already am.”
“I won’t ask you anything, but you need to stop torturing yourself.I know it’s not easy for you, Baby, but don’t let this break you.”
Tears spill down my cheeks. It seems as if all the suppressed frustration is bubbling up to the surface.Ranveer has a wife and a kid. I am mad at him for letting me believe that I could trust him. After Siddh, it took me time to build trust. With Ranveer, I thought I finallyfound someone I could rely on, but I guess I was wrong.My hands clench as I let it all bounce back. My pulse elevates, and all I can hear is my heartbeat pounding in my ears. As if sensing my state of mind, Mom bends and kisses me on my forehead. The warmth of her gentle touch pushes me off the cliffand the dam of tears breaks. No matter how much I try to control them, they seem to have a mind of their own. Hell, Ranveer’s one misdeed has unleashed the dam, and now, try as I may to keep a latch on them, they are hellbent on making their presence felt.
“I can’t imagine my life without him, Mom,” I let it out.
“I know it’s a bitter pill for you to swallow, but it’s better to gulp it now, otherwise the bitterness will only eat you. Don’t worry, my dear, we are here to hold you. You are not alone,”she tries to console me, as she rubs circles on my back to soothe me, but it’s doing nothing to push away the misery and feeling of despair. She then caresses my hair as she whispers, “This time will soon pass away. Like I said earlier, it’s in your hands how you wish to move forward from this.”
I have a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. The tears are clogging my throat, making it hard to even gulp. It’s like all the bad has overshadowed the good times I spent with Ranveer. “It’s a lot to take and confusing as hell. I don’t know what decision is right for me. I think I just need some quiet time to process it all. And even though I am a confused mess, one thing is for certain; I don’t have it in me to forgive him for what he did to me. I may be stupid enough to still love him, but I am not that dumb to forgive him. And maybe with time, I will be able to completely get over him.”
I continue to lie on Mom’s lap, absentmindedly fidgeting with her dress. The stuffiness in my throat grows, making me feel cramped. My heart and head are in constant argument.‘Hate Ranveer. Forgive him. Hate Ranveer. Forgive him.’The discord in my head begins to exhaust me, both physically and emotionally. I am trapped by this dilemma. Gosh! I can’t go on like this. Soon, I must decide whether I have it in me to end our relationship for good. I do not know if I can look into his eyes again and feel that he is a person on whom I can pin my hopes for having a great future. He tricked me into thinking that he was faithful and ruined the most important aspects of my life. Love and trust.
Chapter 3
Ranveer
I get in my car, slam the door, and kickstart the engine. Pulling my car from the basement, I head to Alisha’s parents’ house. I know she is there because Ajay, who is keeping a watch on her, has informed me. For a change, he did his duties as a bodyguard.
As I drive through the street to get to my wife, my conscience warns me that it won’t be an easy battle. My mind makes an attempt to make me believe that winning over my wife’s trust is dead in the waters, and I have to prepare myself to come to terms with the fact that things are ugly and it’s a losing battle. Yet, I refuse to lose hope without putting up a fight. Even though I know Alisha walked out on me, I am in denial that it’s not the reality but a horrible nightmare, the worst I have ever had, and that I will wake up from my sleep and have my wife next to me. But deep down, fear fuels my senses.I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking when I thought I could hide my past from her without risking a chance to lose her.Damn!I am trapped in a vicious circle that makes it hard to break. I don’t know how to make this right. All I hope for is, she should give me a chance to justify my stance. My heart misses a beat.What if she doesn’t forgive me even after hearing me?What if she leaves me?No! I won’t let that happen.If Alisha thinks she can give herself to me then take that gift away without giving me a chance to explain myself, she has another think coming. She’s my wife, goddamnit, a part of my life, and I won’t let her go. Ever.
Sighing, I let out a frustrated breath. I was so lost in my thoughts that I was driving on autopilot mode and didn’t realise that I was approaching a signal. It was only when the car in front of me stopped that I slammed the brakes in the nick of time and jerked to a halt at the red signal. I banged my hand on the steering wheel and muttered under my breath. Picking up my mobile from the passenger seat, I dial Alisha’s number. I have been constantly calling her since I got behind the steering wheel. But all my efforts have gone up in smoke. She is not answering her call. Damn! I need a silver lining here, some hope amidst the dark clouds that are threatening to wipe out all light from my life, but to my dismay, I am not getting it.
Unwillingly, my mind drifts to my past. The day I took the worst decision I have ever taken. Soha and I were not some Romeo and Juliet who were madly in love. To be honest, love never even came close to what we shared. She was an outcome of thinking with my dick and not the brain that led to an unplanned pregnancy.
I met Soha through a common friend at one of the parties. She was sexy and an easy lay. We both mutually decided to hook up with no strings attached. But one day, she dropped a bomb, saying she was pregnant with my child. That’s when I proposed marriage to her. I thought I was doing the right thing by marrying her, as I didn’t want to abandon my child.
When Mili was born and I held her in my arms for the first time, my heart hammered wildly in my chest. I was overwhelmed with emotions upon becoming a father. Everything was going fine and I made peace with my marriage until one day, my wife’s fuck buddy dropped at my doorstep, claiming Mili to be his child. I didn’t believe him at that point, but my grandpa insisted on having a paternity test. And when the test results came that I was not Mili’s father, the ground slipped from under my feet. I was seized with uncontrollable rage. I couldn’t believe she had gone behind my back and done something so deceitful. Though I knew she was far from being an ideal woman in terms of morality, such unscrupulous licentious behaviour was beyond my comprehension. That’s when I decided to find out what else I didn’t know about the woman I married.
Two nights later, the investigator gave me the case file on my wife, which was one of the most eye-opening earth-shattering experiences of my life. I hadn’t known that a woman could be so deceptive. Not only had she had a child with another man, but she had also been in countless affairs with different men for most of our marriage. From the day I married her, I’d never once thought of cheating on her. I’d had plenty of opportunities to go behind her back, but I’d vowed to be faithful for my daughter’s sake. I had taken my responsibility seriously and tried my damnedest to give my child a stable family environment.
Anger would not be an accurate word to describe the emotion I felt and was determined to exact revenge for the act she put up. There was nothing for me in the relationship. That’s when I thought about the way I could really hurt her. Her parents had passed away a few years before, leaving her alone with no other family ties. I was her only source of income since she didn’t work. Her boyfriend was a waiter who lived in a small apartment in Dubai. His net income was not even close to what she spent in a week. That’s when I took the decision to divorce my so-called wife which would be a tight slap on her face. Her lifestyle would take a drastic change.
That night, I went home and handed her the divorce papers, and she agreed to sign them without a word or fight.
It took six months to get my divorce finalised. Soha tried to mend things between us in that period, but I didn’t take her back and even her boyfriend dumped her. I learnt later that he had no inkling she was married and hadn’t taken kindly to her using him to cheat on another man.
But amidst all this, I couldn’t wipe off my hands from Mili. I had vowed that regardless of what the DNA report said, she would always be my daughter. Even if she was not my blood, I loved her as my own daughter. That’s the reason over the past years, I tried my best to fulfil the duties of a father, even if it meant paying Soha’s bills.
The car honks pull me out of my trance. I see the signal turn green. Shifting the gear, I start the car and continue to drive to my destination.
After fifteen minutes, I pull up in front of her parents’ house and kill the engine.
It’s a no-brainer for me that Alisha must have told her parents about Soha and Mili, so I am aware I will have to get past them. But then it doesn’t bother me, because I will not let anyone come between us, even her parents.
Getting out of my car, I shut the door with a thud, walk around the hood, and then move across the street. The soft lights from the house give away that they are still awake. After knocking on the door, I run a hand through my hair and drop my eyes to my feet. I cross my fingers and hope things don’t turn out to be as bad as they seem to be. I hope her parents don’t make it harder for me than it already is.
“Looks like you have a death wish. I must say, very brave of you to show up,” he scowls as he answers the door, crossing his arms over his chest.
The scathing tone in her dad’s voice is potent enough to wither away the most hostile heart. It’s a no-brainer that he has learnt the truth and is not my biggest fan at the moment. Though he didn’t like me initially when I got married to Alisha, we had crossed that hurdle and had started looking up to each other while I helped him with his bar. Right now, it seems we are back to square one, or even worse. This pains my already grieving heart. I lost my dad in a car accident years back and now I feel as if I lost another one, but this time I am the reason for it. God doesn’t seem to be happy with me. However, I put up virtual barricades and don’t let it affect me. I can’t afford to if I want to go ahead and untangle the huge mess my life is at present. So, instead of standing there and wincing due to the contempt in his eyes, I focus on the reason I am here.
“Dad, I need to talk to Alisha?” I try to look around him, but he blocks me.
“Like hell I will allow you anywhere near my daughter.”
Closing my eyes, I take a few calming breaths before I open them and speak, “Your daughter is my wife. Now if you can excuse me, I would like to go to her.”
“She won’t be your wife for long. On the contrary, I doubt if she is even your wife,” he growls, making me flinch, and I feel my heart stop for a second.
