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He released my wrist to press his hand against my lower back. “I cannot stop thinking about you, Zelda Gordon. Wondering what might’ve been. Asking myself why I’m running away.”
I pulled back and rested my fingers against his lips. “Might’ve beens are meaningless. And we both know why you ran. Amara.”
“Yeah. But being a good father is also knowing how to take care of my own needs. It’s like when you’re on a plane and they tell you if the oxygen masks drop you should put yours on first, then help your child. What good can I be to Mari if I can’t breathe?” He caught my hand and pressed it over his heart. “And you, Zel, you take my breath away.”
Speaking of being breathless, he’d just stolen mine. Fuck, that was romantic. “Are you trying to seduce me, Mr. Peters?”
His smile reappeared, sexy and roguish this time. “Maybe? How’m I doing?”
“Really, really well.”
“Ah, that’s surprising. I’m a little outta practice.”
“It doesn’t show.”
Something in his manner changed. A subtle recession as he pulled his head back and looked into my eyes. He was about the same height as Drew but leaner. Where Drew was like a pit bull, Tobias was more like a cat. “Zel, do you understand I can’t be what Aithan and Drew are? You aren’t my priority.”
I stopped him with a kiss. “I know.” Kiss. “I understand.” Kiss. I caught his hand and pulled him through the kitchen, down the narrow hallway that led to the garage, a powder room, and a guest suite.
He hesitated at the bedroom doorway. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
“Yes.” I faced him. “Are you?”
He stepped into the room. “I’ve fought my attraction to you since the first day Aithan brought you into Scumwater.”
I pressed my hand against his abdomen. The muscles contracted beneath his shirt, and a thrill buzzed down my spine as his breath quickened at my touch. “That makes two of us.”
Tobias cradled my face and kissed me, walking me backward until my legs hit the bed.
He lifted my shirt over my head and murmured, “Damn, girl, you are breathtaking.” His lips found mine. His fingers caressed my breasts, bringing my nipples to peaks. Warmth and desire flooded me. I responded to his gentle touches, his soft kisses.
God, he was so different from Aithan and Drew. Every touch was slow, deliberate, careful. Like he thought I’d disappear if he moved too fast, a figment of his imagination. Or maybe he’d come undone too quickly if he wasn’t cautious.
I unbuttoned the cuffs and first few buttons of his gray Oxford, then grabbed its hem and pulled it over his head, bringing his T-shirt with it, baring his skin.
But then I felt the change in him, the same sudden freeze I’d felt when I’d tried to seduce him back at the townhouse. When our gazes met again, Tobias’s wasn’t sleepy and turned on. It was saying, “No.”
He took a large step back, clasped his fists together, and pressed them against his mouth. He shook his head. “I’m sorry, Zel.”
“Why?” Suddenly self-conscious, I folded my arms over my breasts.
“I shouldn’t have come here. I shouldn’t have kissed you. I shouldn’t have followed you into this room. I told you, I can’t be what you want me to be.”
“I understand—”
“No, I don’t think you do.” He retrieved his shirts from where I’d dropped them on the bed. “This thing we want? It’s not gonna happen. I won’t let it.I can’t.I know that sounds harsh, but Amara’s the most important person in my life now and for a long time to come.” He separated the T-shirt from the Oxford. “I fucked up being with Maeve, and my dick might want what you’re offering, but my brain knows taking it would be a huge mistake, for both of us.” He grimaced. “I like you, Zelda. I do. But we need to stay just friends. I don’t want to fall in love with you.”
Ouch.What happened to all that romantic talk he’d turned on in the kitchen? “So you actually came all the way over here to tell me this, not to get your rocks off?” This was the second time he’d stepped up to bat then walked away from the plate just before hitting a home run. I couldn’t decide if I was impressed or pissed off.
“I came over here to figure out what I wanted, and-and,” he sighed, then went on in a rush, “and I just realized it doesn’t matter. It’s not what Iwant, Zel. It’s what Ineed. And that’s to focus one hundred percent on my daughter.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “You’re reaching out and offering your love to everyone ’cause you’ve got so much to give.” Tobias glanced at me like he wanted to make sure I was following, which I kinda was and sorta wasn’t, but he stumbled on anyway. “But maybe you’re offering more than you should.” He held my gaze. “Maybe you should save some of that beautiful love for yourself, girl.”
I blinked. “I thought I was?” I was feeling really fucking confused. Impressed, pissed, and confused. It was a brutal combination, and I sank to the bed.
He hugged himself, the limp shirts fisted in his right hand. “Before I came here, I told Little Bit I was going to run errands, including a stop at the pharmacy. She asked me to buy her sparkly stickers. You know the kind? They’re iridescent and change with the light and the angle?”
I squinted at him, not at all sure where he was going with this story. “Tobias, why the fuck are you telling me this?”
His mouth pressed into a straight line, then he sighed again. “Just bear with me, Zel. I asked Mari why she wanted more stickers. She’s got, like, shit-tons of them from her Gammie. She said she just needs more. They’re shiny and pretty and make her feel special. She puts them on her mirror, and when she looks into it and sees all the sparkles around her, she feels even prettier and more special because she’s surrounded by sparkles.” His brow furrowed and he looked like he was about to say something he knew I needed to hear but sure-as-fuck wouldn’t like. “You’re doing the same thing with men, Zel. Grabbing ’em with both hands and holding tight because having us around makes you feel special. But, see, you don’t need any of us to make you pretty or special, girl. You’re an amazing, beautiful woman with a kind heart and so much love to give.” He looked down at his shoes, then back up at me, holding my gaze as if measuring my response. Whatever he saw in my eyes must’ve encouraged him, because he stepped forward and cupped my face. “I don’t want to throw away our friendship by climbing into bed with you.”
