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“Nice work, bellend,” Reese mutters as we all watch Elliot go to find his beloved dustpan and brush.
“So?” Oakley demands. “What did you do?”
“I haven’t done anything,” I repeat, hating that my friends immediately assume that I must have done something wrong.
I know I’m a bit of a fuck up. That’s not exactly news. But their lack of faith in me pisses me the fuck off.
“I was honest about what I wanted, and she threw it back in my face.”
There’s a beat of silence before Reese asks, “Can you blame her?”
I stare at him in disbelief.“What?”
“He’s right,” Oakley agrees.
“But… isn’t that what all girls want? I told her I wanted her. I forgot about everything I’ve said I’ve ever wanted. The free and easy, single life I’ve fucking loved for so long and told her I wanted her. That she was mine.”
“Correct me if I’m wrong,” Elliot says. “I’m not exactly the expert here. But I’m pretty sure girls want to hear that from guys who haven’t treated them like shit, embarrassed them in front of the entire sixth form, and shamed them every chance they got.”
“We’ve moved on from that,” I mutter.
“You might have. But has she?” Reese asks.
“I’d be inclined to say not,” Oakley adds with a shit-eating grin.
“Do you need to look so fucking smug?”
“Bro, come on, how many times have you adamantly told us that you’ll never lose your head to a girl?”
“Once or twice,” I whisper, aware that it’s total bullshit.
“Yeah, something like that.”
“Taking the piss out of our heartbroken Casanova isn’t going to help,” Elliot points out.
“Alright, agony uncle. What do you suggest we do instead?” Oakley asks.
“Personally, not a lot because I clearly have the least experience here. But you both have girls now. And you fuck up, often might I add. You should have some solid ideas for how to fix this,” Elliot points out.
“Grovel,” Reese states as if it’s that fucking simple. “On your knees for as long as it takes until she’s trying to rip your hair out and is screaming your name.”
“You’re a fucking cunt,” Oakley grumbles.
“What? It works and you know it.”
“My fucking sister,” Oakley mutters under his breath.
“Whatever,” Reese says, caring about as much as he always has. “Best way to fix this is to prove to her you’re serious. Every single person at All Hallows’ knows you as the opposite of a guy who professes his love for a girl and wants to settle down.”
“I never said anything about love.”
“Then maybe you need to stop lying to yourself.” Oakley smirks.
“Fucking hell.” I drag a hand down my face, so done with these idiots.
“Look, it’s simple,” Reese says, sitting forward and resting his elbows on his knees. “You want her?”
Silence ripples through the room.
