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“Our differences?” I ask, getting sucked into this conversation.
“Yeah, you’re all… I dunno, scary to some people I guess and she’s all sweet and innocent. On the surface of it, anyone would think you’d eat her alive but there’s more to her than meets the eye, isn’t there?”
I don’t respond, I don’t need to.
“What are you so scared of? Haven’t the six of us proved to you by now that coupling up isn’t that terrifying really.”
“I’m not scared of coupling up,” I argue.
“Then why aren’t you together? She wants you and you know it. She doesn’t exactly hide it. And neither do you, by the way.”
“I’m not right for her.”
“Says fucking who?” he snaps, clearly unimpressed by my excuse. “That’s bullshit.”
“Is it?” I hiss, pressing my hands into the sloppy ground beneath me and pushing myself up.“Abigail is too good for me. I know it. You know it. Everyone fucking knows it. I’ll ruin her, and she’s already doing a good enough job of doing that herself. And even if I don’t, can you even imagine what my dad and Scott would do?”
“Accept her because she’s important to you?”
I scoff. “Don’t be so fucking naïve, Reese. Just because your parents are cool that you’re fucking your stepsister, it doesn’t mean everyone else is so accepting of their kid’s choices.”
“So your dad might not like her, what’s the big deal?”
“The big deal is that I don’t have a choice,” I hiss, climbing to my feet.
My hoodie and sweats are sodden and cold, my muscles still aching for a release.
“You’ll be at Saints Cross U soon, far enough away from Daddy Eaton that you can?—”
“But I can’t, Reese. He has it all planned for me and?—”
“Lauren,” he sighs, standing to his full height.
“Yeah, no. Fuck. I don’t know,” I say, throwing my arms up. “I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing. Is that what you want to hear?”
“No, not really,” he mutters.
“I know what I want, but I also know what I can’t have. It doesn’t fucking work. It never has.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
My lips part really to say more that’ll open up too much of my past, but I manage to catch the words before they spill free.
“If you don’t want to talk to me about it, that’s fine. I get it. How about you go and talk to her instead?” he suggests.
“I can’t.”
“You seem to be saying that a lot for someone who has a rep for getting whatever the fuck he wants.”
“Yeah well, maybe I’m nothing more than a fucking fraud.”I take a step back, ready to walk away from one of my best friends in the hope of forgetting this conversation ever happened.
“Bullshit. You’re one of the most honest and reliable people I know.”
I shake my head, unable to accept his words.
A bitter laugh falls from my lips as I put even more space between us.
“Whatever the fuck is going on in your head, you need to figure it out. You deserve better than this. You both do.”
