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It’s the one with the best view of campus. The one I’ve spent hours gazing out of in the past few months, trying to get everything to make sense.
My breath catches the second I find a dark figure standing at it.I’m too far away to make out any of her features, but I know it’s her.
My body knows it’s her.
My heart knows it’s her.
I’ve no idea if she can see me, but something tells me that she can. That she’s looking right at me.
Hating me.
“Fuck,” I breathe, lifting my hands to my head and tugging at my hair until it hurts.
All I wanted to do was help and take that hopeless look out of her eyes.
I failed.
But it doesn’t matter because she doesn’t need me anymore.
She’s got her girls back.They’ll help her through this.They can give her everything she needs, say the right words and do the right things.
And I just have to live with the fact that I tried and failed.
I failed the one person I’ve ever met that I wanted to be different for.
For her.
Abigail Bancroft.
I didn’t want to be Elliot Eaton.
I just…
I just wanted to be hers.
17
ABIGAIL
“How was your trip?” I ask as the girls stare at me.
The room suddenly feels too small, and my skin feels too tight. So tight, I press my nails into the fleshy part of my thigh, trying to ground myself.
Trying to stop myself from screaming at them all to get out.
“Abs.” Tally moves first, approaching the bed with a wary expression. Like she’s afraid I might snap.
Is it that obvious?
That I’m barely holding on? Fraying at the edges.
I shove down the destructive thoughts and force my lips into a thin smile.
“I’m fine.”
“You’re in Elliot’s room, Abs,” Liv adds, her eyes full of pity. “Theo walked in on the two of you?—”
“It was nothing,” I rush out. “We fell asleep.”
