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“But you’re here… in his room.”
“I…” I hesitate, unsure how much I want to reveal to them.
The whole truth isn’t an option, but I have to give them something or they’ll never let it drop. Because they’re right—being here, in Elliot’s space, makes a statement. One they’re misconstruing.
“I kind of had a breakdown.” I offer them the half-truth. “He insisted I stay here until you got back.”
“He didn’t tell us. He said you were okay.”
“I guess he didn’t want you to worry.”
“Of course we’ve been worried.” Tally perches on the edge of the bed and takes my hand in hers. “We know how hard this all is for you. And we probably shouldn’t have left?—”
“I wanted you to go.”
Needed them to, really. Because if they hadn’t they wouldn’t have insisted on doing this. Staying with me.
Suffocating me.
“Well, we’re back now,” she adds. “And if you’re staying here we can?—”
“I’m not.”
“Excuse me?” Her brows knit.
“I’m not staying here.”
“But I thought you said Elliot insisted.”
“He did. But you’re back now and classes start back Monday. I think it’s time for me to try and join the land of the living again.”
“Abi, there’s no rush,” Raine says, and I notice she’s still hovering by the door.
She’s the newest to the group though, the ways of the Heirs and their inner circle.
It takes some getting used to.
Only, I’m not one of them. Not in the way that matters.
I never will be.
A fresh wave of sadness goes through me, but I lock it down, refusing to let it sink in its claws and take hold.
They’re back now.
They’ll check in on me enough that I can go back to my dorm room. Because one thing is for certain, I can’t stay here.
I saw how Elliot reacted when Theo walked in on us—heard what he said. Why would I possibly want to stay here and put myself through any more heartache?
“I need some space. You know how Elliot can be,” I say quietly.
“He didn’t upset you, did he?” Tally asks, still clutching my hand. “Or try anything?—”
“No, no. Nothing like that. He was helping me, that’s all. It’s been… a hard couple of weeks.”
“I’m so sorry, Abi.” Her eyes brim with unshed tears and I can’t stand it.
I can’t stand that every time they look at me, they see the same sad weak girl I’ve always been.
