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But while I might look like I’m continuing with my life as normal after Theo found me wrapped around Abi like a snake, on the inside, I’m a fucking mess.
I want to say that I can’t remember the last time I got more than an hour of sleep at one time, but I can. It was that night with her in my bed and her warm body snuggled against mine.
Ever since then, my head won’t stop spinning and my body refuses to relax no matter how hard I push it.
I run every morning, train with the guys every afternoon before hitting the gym then after studying later at night. But none of it is enough.
Nothing I do can make my brain shut off and push the worry that nags at me every second of the day aside.
She’s okay. I know she is.
She came back to school after the holidays, and she’s been attending classes.
The girls have been keeping a close eye on her and keeping me in the loop. I haven’t asked them to. In fact, I’ve done everything I can not to talk about her in the hope they’ll all forget that I let my guard down and allowed Abi to get closer to me than anyone else has.
I also point-blank refuse to ask about her either. I have other ways to find out the information I need anyway. Sure, their insight is useful, but it’s not the only tool I have for ensuring that Abi is okay.
Marching through the kitchen, I make myself a protein shake to set me up for the day before heading up to my room to shower and pretend like I’ve only just stumbled out of bed to get ready for the day.
I go through the motions of washing up and dressing without any thought. I’m nothing more than a robot, doing what needs to be done.
I should be used to it. It’s pretty much how I’ve lived most of my life.
Shutting down and just doing what needs to be done is easier than thinking too hard about what’s to come.It’s easier to live in ignorant bliss than it is to think about the expectations placed on my shoulders by those who think they know best.
By the time I pull my bedroom door open again, there’s movement and voices.Rolling my shoulders back, I make my way downstairs, pulling my mask on so they can’t see how much life is getting to me right now.
Exams are right around the corner. Abi hasn’t spoken a word to me since she slipped out of the Chapel while I was out, and my father and Scott are breathing down my neck, piling on the pressure more than ever.
With a sigh, I march down the final few steps and find Reese, Liv, Oak, and Tally in the kitchen. The scent of coffee filling the air.
“Morning, Boss,” Reese teases, lifting his hand in a salute.
“Mate, you are way too happy this morning,” Oak points out.
“You would be too if Tally did to you what your sister did to me last night.”
I roll my eyes as Oak throws a croissant at Reese’s head. “Do you fucking have to?”
“You asked,” Reese smirks.
“Did I though?”
“Just stop, both of you,” Tally hisses, looking exasperated.
“Do you want coffee?” Liv offers as I come to a stop beside the island, considering my options.
“No, thanks.”
“You sure, you look like you could do with one,” Reese says, his brows pinching as he assesses me a little too closely.
Oakley turns to me. “Or an IV.”
“I’m fine,” I mutter, taking off toward the front door to grab my coat.
“If you say so,” Reese calls after me.
I pause out of sight, waiting to see what they’re going to say now I’ve gone.
