AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Kira’s garbage is my only way of finding out the truth until I see her face light up with the proof, but there’s danger in that when we won’t be alone.
We’re all heading to Los Angeles in three days. I’m pretty sure my suspicions of her being pregnant will be confirmed then, but I’m so fucking scared of being caught off guard and accidentally letting my excitement show. I’m trying to keep ahead of the game and be capable of restraining such a massive fucking emotion before Jack catches wind of my joy.
I repack her garbage, returning one item at a time from the bed of my truck, back into her wheeled trash can, to make sure I haven’t missed anything.
When I get back into the truck, I’m practically hyperventilating.
Loosh stares at me. “You okay? You look like you’re going to puke. Was it rancid chicken leftovers again? That girl needs to clean out her fridge more often.”
“She works full-time shiftwork and is raising a kid on her own. She’s allowed to let shit get funky in the back of her fridge, now and then,” I growl at him.
He raises his palms. “Testy motherfucker. You cut your hand or something?” He leans over to look at the towel I’m wiping my hands on after sanitizing them.
I lean away and shake my head, then wind down my window, to get some fresh air.
“Whatever,” Loosh mutters. “Your trash fetish is the weirdest kink I’ve ever heard of. Thaddy would fucking die if you told him what you did every Tuesday night.”
“Thaddy almost did die in a garbage-related incident, not that long ago,” I remind him in an irritable tone. “And I know I handled that shit like it didn’t affect me, but it fucking did, and I’m still sensitive about it, so shut the fuck up.”
Loosh looks at his phone and sighs. “Two more hours, and we can leave. I’m going to do way cooler shit on Tuesday nights when I don’t have to babysit your ass on Kira-watch for Jack anymore.”
I bow my head and close my eyes trying to get my emotions under control. “Sorry, Loosh. I forget sometimes that Jack’s punishments for me often punish you too.”
He shrugs. “It’s fine. Keeps me from having to be with him.” He looks at his phone again. “And I like spending time with you. Makes me focus on the future, instead of all the other stuff.”
“That’s good, then.” I give him a tight smile and turn back to the changing lights in the window of Kira’s living room. Is she watching TV on the couch, with Curty? Is she wishing I were there with them, as badly as I am? Does she have her hand on her belly, wondering if it’s too early to be sure of the truth her body’s suggesting?
Is she feeling okay? Excited? Nervous, like me?
Fuck. I’m going to throw up if I don’t distract myself.
“What will you do with all your free time when he’s gone?” I ask Lucius after a while. “I mean, you’re welcome to keep hanging out with me, but I’m hoping to be chained to Kira’s bed for a while.”
He chuckles quietly. “Be a nice change from being chained to your own bed.”
I hum in agreement and touch my good ankle to the scarred one, which is bound to my bed every night. I can’t trust myself not to seek out Kira in my sleep, and it’s a lot harder to get out the door dragging a bed with me. “Do you think the sleepwalking will stop if I’m already where I want to go?”
“Guess we’ll find out soon enough, if all goes according to plan, but nobody can seem to track down the last of Jack’s assassins, and until they’re all paid out or dealt with, there’s still a risk of shit going downhill fast,” Loosh says. “Especially for you.”
He turns to me and scratches at his neck-beard. “Why won’t you tell anyone else about Kira?”
“Because it’s none of their fucking business,” I bite out. “And I don’t need well-meaning do-gooders, trying to do something nice for me and fucking everything up. As it stands, Jack believes he’s ruined her for me. He thinks he’s won. He thinks I keep my distance to keep her safe, out of duty, for ruining her life when I couldn’t protect her from him. If he catches wind that I still worship the fucking ground she walks on and have hope for a future with her, he’s going to work even harder to break me and will be even less trusting of anything I say.”
“He doesn’t trust you as it is,” Loosh points out.
“He trusts that I hate him,” I counter. “And that he’s more powerful, because he has enough leverage to keep me on my knees. And he trusts that I’m an efficient shark in the finance tank, working his deals for him without issue, time and again. That’s plenty of trust to let me bring him down, and when Minty’s deal turns south?”
I whistle and smile out into the night. “He’ll have nowhere to turn, and by then, he won’t even be able to trust himself. I’ve been sowing seeds of paranoia into his daily routine for years now. And if an accidental slip from someone else gives him an edge and puts my girl in danger?” I shake my head. “I can’t risk it. No mistakes. Not again. I need to keep my shit close. Controlled. I have to keep playing his game until it’s safe. Now, more than ever.” I think about Kira and the potential life, growing inside her.
“Why now?”
“Because we’re so close,” I whisper, my throat tight.
“Why do you trust me?” Loosh asks after a while. “You just told me a bunch of shit I could use against you if I wanted to.”
There’s something off about his voice, and I look at him sideways. “Are you saying I shouldn’t trust you?” I’m positive that he and I came to an understanding a long time ago.
He frowns, and then shrugs. “I’m not a very good person. I’m not the kind of man people should trust.”
