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Loosh opens his door. “I know. I’m just not very comfortable with nice things.”
I get in the truck and get it started, watching him. “I think therapy is really helping you open up. If you ever need anything, you ask me, and I’ll be there to help. Okay?”
He nods and waves at me, to get moving. “Nearly nine, Quin.”
“Okay.” I head for the bar Jules picked out, for us this week. We have to keep changing up where we meet, in case Jack gets suspicious. His tracking me makes having clandestine meetings about overthrowing him that much harder.
20
KIRA
Dearest Kira,
I love you so fucking much, and this week has given my heart a lift. I can’t wait to see you again, and I will continue to think of you every day, as I have since we met.
You’re an amazing woman, an amazing nurse, and the most wonderful mother Curty could ever wish for. He loves you so much, it rivals my own affection for you, and I’ll do my best to keep him from all the bad things.
I’ll do the same for you, too.
This week tested my restraint. I would rush to our happy ending if it were safe to do so, but these things take as long as they take, and I won’t jeopardize ourforeverby rushing and making another foolish mistake.
I’ve learned patience, and I will love you from afar, to keep this family safe until we are granted our freedom.
Stay strong and beautiful and take good care of yourself for me.
Take the vitamins I left in the cupboard above the fridge — you may have gotten yourself some already, but I want you to know I’m thinking about you and planning as best I can for any possible scenario.
Obviously, my phone isn’t secure, but if you need something, please let Loosh know, and I will make sure you get it.
I can’t wait to tell the others about you and Curty, but I can’t risk it yet.
I’m so tired of the secrets. It’s hard to keep everything inside, when I want to scream from the rooftops how happy and proud I am of this little family.
It fucking kills me, to stay quiet when the guys ask me if I’ve met anyone special, but I won’t risk Jack finding out he’s failed to remove the love from my heart, when he’ll only seek to destroy it. I won’t have you harmed ever again — I promise you.
I’ll keep my Kira Corazon Grant safe. You keep her healthy.
My fingers are crossed, and I’m sending all my love, every day, until I can hold you close and surround you with it.
Quin.
P.S. I’ll stayin my hotel room when we go to Disneyland. You and Curty will be able to get out and enjoy yourselves, without having to worry about where I am and how much space there will be between us. It’s no hardship to stay in and think of the two of you smiling out there.
I love you. X
I carryhis last donation up to bed with me and use it before tucking away my toys and the Polaroid pictures. I lie back with my hips raised, thinking positively fertile thoughts, because I want this man’s child growing in me when I next see his face.
He’ll take one look at me, glowing with his love, and know.
21
QUIN
Ipaw through Kira’s garbage with my heart in my throat, for the second week running.
Her monthlies are usually like clockwork, and I should have seen wrappers and packaging for feminine products last week, but so far, there have been none. If she’s pregnant — if our fucked-up distance-breeding week went to plan…
My insides wants to burst from my skin, dance down the street, and revel in the magic of such a thing, while an empty shell is left in my shackles, indentured to Jack.
