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He pressed his lips on my forehead. “Let me decide for myself. I would walk through war zones and hellfire for you. What makes you think that I won’t hold your hand through this? I told you I want forever with you, Abrams. Words may be words to other people, but not to me. I’m very careful in the things I say and the promises I make.”
Oh, this man.
“Tell me.”
I shouldn’t. The best thing would be to let him leave, and I prepare for what is to come tomorrow. But I was tired of having to bear it all. I was tired of braving the high waters alone. I still didn’t want to put him in danger, and I knew that I would need to leave come dawn, but he deserved the truth.
“Fine,” I pulled his hands from my face and held them in mine. “Sit with me.”
Chapter thirty
Flashbacks
Selena
Eight years ago
I rubbed my belly and closed my eyes. I will start showing in a few weeks. My breasts were already triple their size, and I was sick every morning. I was only fifteen weeks along, but my body felt like it was tired beyond belief. I was constantly drained all the time. And my emotions were all over the place. I was trying to keep a level head, but it was hard to do that when you lived with your abuser.
The plan was set, and now I was only waiting for my window of opportunity. Marcus had made sure to make me solely dependent on him. I had no finances in my name and ever since we had been together, I never worked. He told me that I didn’t have to work because he would take care of me. What I had thought was him providing for me was actually him trapping me. I had been so deprived of life and affection as a child that I could not recognize the callousness behind his actions until it was too late. The words he had used to degrade and quiet my inner voice had not been discipline or love. They had been whips that he had used to beat me into submission. The apologies and gifts were nothing but lies and chains keeping me by his side. He had molded me into all he needed and wanted me to be. But no more. I knew better. It may have taken a few years, but finally, I understood who was the true monster that I needed to fear all along.
He was set to leave for his work trip this evening, and when he was gone, I would make my escape.
I would protect you, little one. You would not endure the pain and abuse that I had put up with for the past two years.
Marcus had taken so much from me. I had little to no contact with Amelia, and with my mother dead and gone, I had no family anymore. I was all alone.
There was a little flutter in my belly, almost like butterflies.
Then, a thought occurred to me, and I smiled. “Of course, I have you now, little one.”
My little light. My guiding light that showed me all that I had hidden in the darkness. It wasn’t safe here, and I needed to get out. It would only be a matter of time before his hurtful words became something more. I trembled at the thought. I had my bag packed. After tonight, I would be free, and I could begin again. I would create a new life for myself where both my baby and I could be safe.
I opened the fridge to retrieve some watermelon juice. For some reason, I had this insane craving for all things watermelon. It was the strangest thing, but I loved it so much. When I closed the door, I came face to face with a pair of steely black eyes.
By the time I was done telling Daniel, my heart felt surprisingly lighter. I had lost my baby that night. I had not relived that night since the day in the hospital in Braven Bay with bleeding years later. Seb was my doctor, and I had to tell him everything that had happened years earlier with Marcus. I had been so numb all I remember doing was opening my mouth, and the rest was a blur.
I drew out a shaky breath, trying to steady my heart. My eyes had been set on his shoulder, unable to look at his face.
“Look at me, Sel.” His voice was soft, such a contrast to his commanding, dominating stature.
“Now you know,” I could barely choke out the words past the emotion loaded in my throat, “my past is not pretty, Daniel. I’m riddled with scars and carry a mountain of pain that many will not understand.”
And shame. But I kept that last one to myself. He didn’t need to hear that. It was strange when the abused felt shame for being the one being taken advantage of. But it wasn’t necessarily the shame of being ridiculed and humiliated, but rather the shame of not leaving sooner. The shame of being so desperate for love that you chose to stay in torment for years on end.
I never deserved that. I broke my own heart trying to cling to a kind of love that poisoned me.
“He’s come back for you, hasn’t he?”
The words refused to move past the lump in my throat, so I nodded.
Daniel mused over my answer for a moment. “Leave it to me. Now, come on.”
He stood from the couch, taking me with him. I watched in confusion as he grabbed the small suitcase and started wheeling it to the door. When he saw that I wasn’t following, he paused and turned to face me.
“Let’s go.” He looked back at me.
“Where are you taking my bag to?”
