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What in the hell? Rae kept her voice level, but she was thoroughly freaked out. “Did they tell you that?”
Katelyn stopped dancing her dolls around on the floor. “I heard Mommy when she was making dinner.”
“Does your daddy think the same thing as your mommy?”
Katelyn looked up at her and frowned. “Daddy was being mean. He said you should go away, but I want you to stay forever.”
Rae didn’t know what to say. Katelyn was so young—she could’ve easily misinterpreted what her parents had said—but then Rae couldn’t ignore the uneasiness stirring in her gut. If she brought it up with Marilyn and Ben, they might get mad and tell her to leave. She had nowhere to go and was only weeks away from giving birth. She had no choice; she’d have to wait it out.
The next day, she went over her finances. She had withdrawn all the money she had earned while she was in Albuquerque and started up a new bank account in Oklahoma. She missed doing a lot of live streams after Viv died, and a good chunk of her money went to her prenatalcare. If she did at least two live streams a day every weekday when the Reids weren’t around, she could have enough for an apartment she was looking at in Oklahoma City.
It was a little after noon, and she had time to do another live stream. She shut her bedroom door, which didn’t have a lock, got out the dolls she kept hidden in her suitcase, and slipped on one of her half-faced masks and her sheer stockings. As she got into her session, she found a good rhythm with her audience, something she hadn’t felt since Viv’s death, and she bloomed with the power of being back in control. It had been so long since she felt the desire to masturbate, but the need rushed over her as she gave her viewers a good show.
Rae was biting one of her Ken dolls, then slowly running her tongue along the doll’s plastic torso and between its legs, where smoothness replaced the real thing, when she heard a quick intake of breath behind her. She turned and saw Ben watching her from her doorway. She hadn’t heard him open her door, and she definitely hadn’t heard him knock first.
Shit.She cut her live stream and grabbed a blanket from her bed to shield her half-naked body.
“What in the hell are you doing?” Ben said, and Rae couldn’t tell if he was shocked, angry, or both.
She removed her mask. “I ... I’m sorry. I was just ... it’s my work, but it’s not what you think.”
He entered her room but stayed back from her bed where she was sitting. “I knew you were hiding something.”
“You’re hiding something too.” The words left her mouth before she could stop them.
He moved farther into the room, his eyes glued to her. “And what exactly is that?”
The shame of getting caught moments ago turned into a heady mix of fear and anger. “I know about what Marilyn said. About you all wanting my baby, but you can’t have her.”
Ben’s eyes widened. “Where did you hear that from?”
She didn’t want to get Katelyn in trouble, so she said, “I overheard you two arguing.”
He clenched his jaw. “I don’t want your baby.”
“But your wife does, doesn’t she?” Rae felt like a caged animal. “Is that why you’re letting me stay here? Because you think you can just take my baby once she’s born?”
“I never wanted you here,” he said. “But since you are, I think it’s time you face the reality of your situation. You’re what—nineteen? Barely an adult. You have no money, no family you can reach out to, and now I see what you’ve been doing during the day. This ... whatever this is.” He waved his hand at the dolls she had splayed out, tied up with embroidery thread. “You have nothing to offer a child.”
Rae hated him so much right then. She didn’t want to hear her own insecurities thrown back at her.
“But that doesn’t mean I want to take your baby.” Ben sat on the other end of her bed, which was still too close for her. “I want my wife to be happy, but a baby isn’t going to make that happen. She’s not capable of being happy.”
She stared at him, uneasy with how frank he was being. “Why?”
He looked down at her stockinged feet. “Because she wants perfection in everything.”
“Is that why you hate me? Because I’m messing up your perfect life?”
His eyes shifted to her face. “I don’t hate you, but I don’t trust you.”
“But I didn’t do anything to make you not trust me. I would never hurt Katelyn or you and Marilyn.”
“I don’t know what you’re capable of, Rae.”
She didn’t know what she was capable of either after everything that had happened in California and New Mexico. “Then help me, and I’ll move out.”
“So, you want to leave?” He said it like he didn’t believe her.
