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“Oh, my God, what the hell is wrong with me?” I said and nearly bolted from the bed. I must find him and tell him how sorry I am for shutting him out. I promised I would never do that again.”
“You were hurting and needed the time, but now you can share your feelings with him. I promise he’s waiting for you.” Ellen smiled and then craned her neck over to the door.
“He’s standing outside the door, isn't he?”
“He's your husband, you tell me?”
It was the knowledge that my beloved husband was always within reach. I was wrong to shut him out, and after talking to Ellen, the darkness faded, and his love returned me to the light. I got up and practically ran for the door, but then I turned around to say to Ellen, “Thank you for not only saving my life when I got shot but also saving my life now and making me see what I have to fight for. You are amazing, and I am so happy we've become friends.”
“You're welcome. I’ll always be here for you. Now, I have a plane to catch, and you have a husband to find.” Before walking out the door, she hugged me and said, “You're going to be alright, Sabina, and so is Bourne. I’m happy we’re friends, too.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
Bourne
I was never good at respecting boundaries, especially when it came to my Principessa. I was barely hanging onto my restraint from going to her. I’ve always believed we connected on a level we only understood. I nearly lost my breath when I heard her question if I was on the other side of the door. How could I not be? My woman needed me, but I kept my distance to give her time. However, hearing my wife ask Ellen about me lifted a heavy burden off my shoulders.
I love her so much and felt powerless about how to help my wife. Calling Ellen here was necessary, and I was grateful to her for helping Sabina. I understand why Lucy wasn’t what Sabina needed right now, not when she was about to have a baby. The wound is too fresh, and seeing Lucy would only serve as a reminder of what we lost. After stepping away from the door, I retreated to my office to do some work and wait for my wife toreturn to me. Every minute felt like an eternity until I heard a soft knock.
“Hi, may I come in?” I looked up from my laptop and practically leaped from my chair.
“You never have to ask; come here,” I said, directing my woman into my arms where she belonged. I held her close and inhaled the sweet smell of her shampoo. Then, I stepped back to place my hands on her face. I needed her eyes on me when I asked my question. “Are you alright?” You were in with Ellen for a long time,” I asked.
“Yeah, well, you should know since you were nearby, right?” Her face brightened like the sun, and she smiled back at me.
“Where else would I be? I’m sorry I couldn’t be the one to help you and called in reinforcements.”
“No, please don’t ever say that to me again. You are my husband, and I need you always. I felt like I was a failure and failed you by not fighting harder for our baby. I know it’s not my fault, but when I woke up and placed my hand on my stomach, I just knew it was gone, and I never felt so broken in all of my life, not even when I lost my mother.”
“We can try again whenever you are ready,” I cupped her beautiful face and kissed her forehead.
“I know, and we will, but for now, is it okay just to be us for a while?”
“Yes, Principessa, it’s okay, and may I say something?”
“Of course,” she leaned in to kiss me.
“Thank you for coming back to me because I don’t think I can live without you.”
“Oh, Bourne, I’m here now, and I promise I’m not going anywhere. Thank you for giving me the time I needed. As much as I wanted to see you, I was nervous when I saw your door closed. Yet, when my eyes connected with yours, I felt your love envelop me.”
“I would love nothing more than to hold you in our bed because I’ve missed you, and I need you.” After declaring my intentions, I waited for her to make the next move, and she didn’t disappoint. Holding my hand in hers, she led me across my office and through the connecting door to our bedroom. She stopped and turned to kiss me and then walked away just a few steps so I could watch her. She slowly began to unbutton her dress and then let it fall to the floor, revealing her gorgeous body bare and on perfect display for my eyes only. “No panties?” I asked. She gave her shoulder a little shrug and then flashed me a teasing smile.
“Why bother? They only get in the way.”
I swept my wife into my arms and held her close to me. “I love you so much. You are a goddess, and I can’t wait to worship every inch of your skin.”
She grinned sheepishly and kissed me.After all this time, my beautiful wife is still shy.I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable and said what she didn’t.
“We can’t make love yet for another few weeks.”
“Sadly, yes, but doing something as natural as baring my body to you was still fun. I’ve missed you and broke my promise by pushing you away when you needed me to be close. I’m sorry for doing that to you. I wouldn’t blame you if you have doubts, but I hope you give me another chance and believe when I say that I will never put distance between us again. We will be okay and someday make beautiful babies, but for now, I am happy being with you as your wife and for you to be my husband.”
“We can do that, my love,” I said as she giggled into the crook of my neck. I knew we had to abstain for several weeks, but holding her like this again drove me wild. Sabina was right about us being okay because I would settle for nothing else regarding our relationship and future. It’s time we get our lifeback, starting right now. “Come, shower with me,” I announced, knowing she had just taken one not too long ago.
“Lead the way, lover,” totally surprising me with her boldness. We may not be able to make love, but we can do many pleasurable acts while we wait. It will be fun giving every one of them to my wife.
Six months later, we traveled to Rome to meet Lucy and Pierre’s daughter, who had arrived early on Christmas morning. Lucy and Pierre said having their daughter on Christmas is the best gift they could ever ask for or dream of having in their lifetimes. Sabina wanted to be with her sooner than now, but we agreed to give them time to adjust to being a new family of three. As soon as the doctor cleared Sabina to resume all physical activity, we didn’t waste a second of reuniting in every way possible.
