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“Just standing here…you can see…” I can’t meet any of their eyes, especially Mark’s. He’s sitting on a barstool nearby. I’m not sure how he’ll fit into what Carl, Sean, and I had even though they asked if I’d be fine with including him.
“Are you embarrassed? Sugar, you may have had a blindfold on last night, but we didn’t.”
Carl cups my shoulders. “Don’t slump. Your body is beautiful.”
My hands slide up and down my arms. “I’ll look better once I lose the weight I put on in college.”
“What the hell?” Mark surges toward me.
“As soon as things calm down. I’ll go on a diet.”
“No. No. No. You don’t need a diet,” Sean assures me.
“Your mom would disagree.”
“She doesn’t matter. She overreacts.” Mark brushes his thumb over my cheek.
My eyes fall shut. I want to believe him, but it’s a fact that I gained weight.
Carl says, “If we haven’t proven that we’re fine with you just the way you are, let us help you with a few more orgasms.”
Mark slides his hand down but I stop it before he gets to my belly.
“You don’t have to prove anything. I hear you.” But the importance of image has been seared into me far more than a few orgasms can wash away. “Let’s do the app.”
I swallow my pride and let them document my body from all sides. I’ll have them retake the pictures when I lose weight.
Carl moves behind me, circling his arms low on my hips. “It won’t affect the way the app puts clothes on your body, but I want the scan to document the way you blush after an orgasm. How about it?”
I close my eyes and lick my lips saying what I’m pretty sure is the right thing to say. “Shouldn’t I reciprocate first?”
Sean steps in. “We’re not keeping score. You wanted help getting over your ex, we’re doing that. You don’t owe us anything, although helping with this app would be great.”
“I’m pretty sure guys keep score.”
“If guys kept score with you, that’s their problem.”
Heat overtakes my cheeks.
“What’s that for?” Mark asks.
“What?” I’ve probably delayed this as long as I can.
“Why are you blushing?”
“There hasn’t been anything to keep score of.”
“What?” Carl circles in front of me.
“I haven’t had sex, or even an orgasm with a guy… And I don’t want to talk about it. Don’t make it a thing.”
“It is a thing.” Mark’s possessive expression is back.
“Fine. It’s a thing we’re not going to talk about. Now let’s do the app.”
Everyone stares at me, indeed making it a thing. I cringe. Waving my hands, I say, “Shoo. Get your camera. Either we do this or I leave.”
They scamper into position around the camera.
