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We scan my body, they let me select different clothes to virtually try on. It’s exciting to see how it works. Then Carl pulls me onto his lap.
“I had a special feature designed. Want to see it?” Nervousness taints his words.
“It sounds ominous.”
“Nothing bad, just something you inspired.”
“Me?”
Based on Sean and Mark’s reactions, I’m not the only one who’s confused.
With a few clicks of the mouse, the computer simulates a pregnancy month-by-month. I’m in love with my belly but when my hand goes to my core, it’s sadly disappointed. I’m only pregnant on-screen.
“That’s amazing.” The tears of happiness welling inside of me make it risky to say much more.
Sean says, “I didn’t realize you could be even more beautiful.”
Mark adds, “Well done, Carl.”
“I’m glad you like it, Bianca.” Carl dismisses his brothers. “I wasn’t sure I’d get to show you.”
To be a mom, to have a baby inside of me, that’s my dream. But wait. “How did I inspire this?”
“I want to get you pregnant, Bianca.”
Surely that’s figurative. I’ll check Urban Dictionary later for an alternate meaning. His dick is like a rolling pin underneath me. So thick, so hard. I can’t focus on the screen anymore. I catch myself rocking my butt over his shaft.
“He’s not alone,” Sean says. “And I know you want kids.”
I croak out, “Yeah.”
Mark is a wrecking ball through the beautiful moment. “We can fit them into your career plan.”
Thanks for the reality check, bro. “Yeah, lots of women do. Speaking of which, I should go check on my college applications. Alone.”
Batting the guys away as I slip my sundress on, I hold back tears. Of course, he thinks I should have a career plan. Of course, they all do. They’re all so successful.
Telling them I don’t want a career will disappoint them. I need a second to regroup.
Exiting their penthouse, I turn towards my stepmom’s. I choke on the memories of her judgment. I don’t want to be in this space, in this world where image is everything, where perfection is everything, where success is everything.
Detouring myself to the only space that doesn’t reek of them, I cry my way up the stairs to the rooftop.
Twelve
Sean
Theclickofthestairwell door is a gift letting me know Bianca didn’t go check on her college applications. What the hell went wrong?
Sobs come from above. I look up, ready to catch her tears but the door to the roof slams shut. I’m taking the stairs three at a time.
I told Mark and Carl to give me a second with her but they’re not likely to listen. I have to hurry. Before I get to the roof, they’re following.
Bianca’s only a few paces past the door. The brisk winter wind whips past us, reminding me there’s a storm blowing in. I wrap my arms around her, first and foremost, making sure she’s secure. Her chest heaves against me.
My need to protect her soars to new heights. How can I convince her that she means more to me than any other woman I’ve dated? I can’t even explain it to myself. But if I can’t have her, I’ll be single and miserable forever.
“I…” If I tell her I love her now, it might seem forced. Damn it. “I hate to see you upset. What’s wrong?”
