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She shakes her head, struggling to comprehend my words, and says, “No way. We need to talk about this.”
“The only thing I need to do is get back to work, which is exactly what you are going to do as well,” I grind out. “Now, get the hell out of my office before I have you escorted out!” She flinches at my harsh tone and stumbles back, nearly falling on her ass, but her fingers wrap around the arm of a chair before she does.
It would be best if I calmed down. I’m pretty sure stress isn’t good for the baby, but I can’t bring myself to do anything but rage it right now. What would Dominic do if he found out that this baby is mine?
Casey slams the door shut behind her, leaving me alone in the room for a few moments before Fran walks inside nervously. “I’ve got the cleaning products.”
I nod and point to the space where Casey threw up. “Over there. If I have any meetings today, could you please cancel them? I can’t be here right now.” Before she can respond, I’m grabbing things and storming out of the office, more than ready to get home and drown myself in alcohol.
The itch is strong to see how Casey is doing on the floor, especially after she got sick, but I ignore it and keep my steps toward the exit. I push through the large doors, holding them open for guests with a forced smile, and then head to my car across the lot.
I’m a ball of nerves as I walk through my front door, different emotions strumming through my veins and ready to take over. The anger pulsing through me that I could be so stupid as to let something like this happen is threatening to take over the overwhelming need to be there for Casey.
This is my child we are talking about. It’s both part of me and her. I should be by her side, helping her through everything she’s going to endure, and instead, I’m sitting here on my ass. I kicked her out of my office and screamed at her for telling me something I had every right to know and begged for.
What would it be like to watch Casey’s belly swell with our child?
The idea of raising a child with her has my heart warming. Would we have a little girl? I bet she’d have Casey’s warm and inviting personality. But if we have a boy? He’d probably be a spitting image of me, and that has me eager to see this pregnancy out and be the father I know I could be.
That warmth doesn’t last long though when I think about Dominic. How am I supposed to be in this baby’s life without my best friend finding out I’m its father? I’ve never thought about what life could be like with a family, the casino has always been the biggest part of my life, but the idea of creating another life isn’t as bad as I thought it would be.
This could also ruin the longest friendship I’ve ever had.
I’m at a crossroads. As much as I am thankful for the friendship I’ve had with Dominic, do I really want my child growing up without me just to save that? It deserves to have both parents in its life, but would that mean not having its uncle in the picture?
I let my mind fall back to the night Casey and I spent together.
It was so easy to think that we’d never have to worry about it again and act like it never happened, but life has a way of throwing things in your face. I was so lost in the moment with her that I never made sure to protect myself before sinking inside of her. I’ve never done something more idiotic in my life.
This was supposed to be a one and done situation, even if I’ve done nothing but think and worry about her since it happened, it wasn’t supposed to end up like this.
I reach for the glass of scotch I poured for myself and let the warm liquid seep into me, basking in it for a moment before lifting from the spot on my favorite leather chair. My gaze falls onto the piece of furniture, imagining what it would be like to sit on it with a little boy or girl on my lap while I read them a story.
It’s easy to conjure.
Could I really be a father? Raise a child with the one woman I’ve been warned against since I was a teenager? All I had to do was keep my hands off her, but it was too tempting to pass up. I should’ve taken her home, helped her into bed, and that was it. Instead, I chose to defile her, sink my dirty claws into her, and do as I pleased.
Nothing could’ve stopped me from doing it, no matter how hard I tried.
“Fuck,” I mutter, running a hand through my hair in annoyance.
It’s an impossible situation.
I have a chance to be someone I never thought I would be, but it comes at the expense of my friendship, and I’m not sure how to handle that.
Time.
That’s all I need. The time to think and process all this information. I’m itching to pick up my phone and text Casey to make sure she’s doing okay at work, but that’s not what I do. Distance would be best right now until I figure out what I’m going to do.
Sure, the best option would be to be a father to my child. I know that. I’m not trying to be a deadbeat and turn the other cheek and act like the child doesn’t exist, but I also need to think about what this information will do to me and my life.
Soon enough, Dominic will get eager for answers – if he isn’t already – and Casey will have to tell him that she’s pregnant.
The idea of her going through this all alone, without me at her side to care for her, leaves a bad taste in my mouth, but I drown it out with another sip of scotch. Even if it’s the smarter choice, I’m not so sure I could just turn a blind eye to the information Casey presented me with today.
All I have to do is figure out how I can be the father my child needs me to be while also maintaining the friendship I have with Dominic. It will take time, but there’s this feeling that we could manage it.
Dominic can be hard-headed sometimes; I know this, but isn’t it possible that he’ll understand?
