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When I walk through my front door and glance around, everything seems to remind me of her. The nights that she would come knocking on my door, looking delicious in whatever outfit she had on, before climbing me like a tree. I’ve had to get myself off every morning with thoughts of her, is that supposed to stop now?
Even if I wanted her to, I don’t think she will ever leave my mind.
I walk into my home office, reaching for the expensive bottle of bourbon I keep stored on the top of my large bookshelf, and chug a hefty amount of alcohol. It burns going down, but nothing feels worse than the pain scattered throughout my heart at the thought of losing Casey. My feet move on their own, heading in the direction of the guest room, and I eye it with a sad smile.
Everything in this room was supposed to show Casey how serious I am about her moving in with me, having her own sanctuary to relax in, and now it’s not going to do shit but make her want to be away from me longer. How did things end up this messy?
You couldn’t keep your dick in your pants, Emmett. That’s how.
I shake my head. No, even if I knew this was going to be the outcome there’s no part of me that regrets the things I did with her. I’ve never felt as alive as I did in those moments, buried inside of her while staring into her eyes. It wouldn’t be that way if this wasn’t real.
What I do regret is not telling Dominic as soon as things changed between Casey and I. Maybe if he had known earlier things wouldn’t have been so bad tonight. My mouth aches from where he punched me, but the alcohol is slowly making its way through my system and I’m sure it will feel like nothing but a scratch soon.
Instead of standing here and torturing myself with what could’ve been, I slowly back away from the guest room. The living room is bathed in an orange glow from the sunset and it makes me wish Casey was here, watching as it lowered over the horizon with me while cuddled into my side. I’m trying my hardest not to text her, since I know it’s the last thing she needs from me right now, and it does nothing but hurt.
My fingers wrap tighter around the neck of the bottle I’m holding and I bring it to my lips, taking another large sip before heading upstairs. I halt in the doorway and eye the bed where she lay not long ago, curled up on her side in front of me, then push my hand roughly through my hair. How am I supposed to walk around like she didn’t change my life in these last few months?
I walk out of the master bedroom and walk across the hall into another spare room, one that wasn’t tainted with Casey’s presence. The bed isn’t as soft as the one in my room but it’s not going to matter once this bourbon hits me, so I flip the blanket over and sit at the edge of the mattress.
When my phone pings, I eagerly grab it, only to frown when I see it’s a reminder from Fran about my meeting tomorrow. It’s important, I should suck it up and move on with my daily activities, but instead, I send her a response asking her to reschedule everything tomorrow. There’s no way I’m going to walk through those doors and not put all my focus on Casey being there, too. I’ll just try to seek her out, and she doesn’t need that right now.
***
I groan as I get up off the unfamiliar bed, my eyes squinting against the morning light shining through the window, and twist myself around until my feet connect with the carpeted floor. It takes a few moments to remember what happened and why one side of my face hurts more than the other, but everything comes crashing back into me like a freight train. The sadness on Casey’s face, mixed with the hurt and betrayal on Dominic’s, makes my chest hurt.
If I had been more open about everything and told Dominic that I was having feelings for his sister, there’s a chance I could’ve avoided a reaction like this. Maybe if I would’ve told Casey that I’m falling for her, she wouldn’t have cast me away as easily as she did yesterday. I pick up my phone, glancing at the late time and the lack of text messages, then lift from the bed with a grunt of pain.
My gaze latches onto the bottle of bourbon sitting on the nightstand and I shake my head, wishing I had more control over myself.
A big, greasy breakfast sounds good right about now, but the last thing I want to do is stand in front of the stove or get dressed. I call Fran’s line, listening as it rings four or five times, then she finally picks up. “Emmett, do you need something?”
“Could you have the cafeteria fix me a greasy breakfast and have it sent to my house?”
“What, are you hungover or something?”
I sigh. “Or something is more like it.” Hungover, broken heart, I’m not sure which one is worse to deal with. “Just send someone over, thanks.” Before she can question me, I quickly hang the phone up and lay back on the bed with a loud groan.
It doesn’t matter that my friendship is currently in jeopardy, my mind still manages to conjure an image of Casey lying next to me in bed with a sleepy grin on her face. What I wouldn’t give for that to be true right now.
Chapter Twenty-One
Casey
I’mbreaking.That’sreallythe only way to describe the way I’m feeling right now. My heart is cracked into a million tiny pieces and I’m not sure which way to turn. I hate that Dominic had to find out about Emmett and I the way he did, but I’m missing Emmett’s arms wrapped around me.
It’s been a week.
In that time Dominic hasn’t uttered a single word to me and has chosen instead to act like I’m invisible. Meanwhile, I’ve been struggling not to text Emmett, begging him to come back to me. He and I really made a mess of things, I know that, but I can’t help the way my heart needs him.
When the front door opens, revealing my older brother, I perk up at his presence. I wait with bated breath, hoping that this will be the day he chooses to hear me out, but he only kicks his shoes off and strides upstairs to his room. My heart sinks lower, and tears drop onto my cheek. I’m alone right now, with not even Emmett to keep me whole.
Then do something about it, Casey.
What can I do though? Force Dominic, to talk to me? Make him accept the feelings I have for his best friend even if he might not approve of them? He doesn’t get it. I’ve watched him for so many years be alone, giving his entire life to his job, so he doesn’t understand what it feels like to fall in love with someone.
I bring my hand over my growing stomach and smile. “We’ll get it figured out, little bean.” Hopefully, sooner rather than later because I miss Emmett. It didn’t occur to me how much we relied on each other until now, after a week without being enclosed in the safety of his arms. A week of not feeling every burning touch he leaves on my body.
A door creaks upstairs, then Dominic appears on the stairs and walks into the kitchen. It’s now or never. “Dom,” I say loudly. He doesn’t answer me, as if he’s suddenly gone deaf, and my blood pumps hotter. “Goddamn it, Dom. Just talk to me!” The longer he ignores me, the more irritable I’m going to be, and he knows better than anyone how I am when I’m angry, especially since I got pregnant.
