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Was I hamming it up a little? Maybe. But it was always nice to watch Ayla flush in that adorable way. We hadn’t really been able to be close since we’d arrived, and I got the feeling my mate was avoiding me. I was uncomfortable with the idea that she’d been cursing me and would likely try again, but I still wanted to be around her. To scent her. To wrap my arms around her as we both relaxed into sleep. Was that so wrong?
I knew she was trying to put space between us but considering that the space was most likely to help her come to terms with needing to curse me again, it behooved me to subvert it whenever I could.
I knew some would ask why I’d even want to be with a mate who was so quick to cast me aside, who was so certainthat violating my rights to my own mind was a good thing, but though I disagreed with her down to the deepest depths of my soul, I knew she wasn’t doing anything maliciously. No, she was doing whatever she thought would save me. I just didn’t know what from. I didn’t like her methodology, or her conclusion that we couldn’t be together, but I didn’t disagree with her heart.
“Come now, we’ve bothered our lovely hosts long enough. Let’s go catch our forty winks.”
Just like I hoped, Ayla didn’t argue, instead dutifully following me to the den. Sure enough, I was able to figure out how to unfold the couch into a surprisingly cushy bed.
“You’re unbelievable,” Ayla said as I straightened. Despite her terse tone and even more terse words, she flopped face first into the bed. “I can’t believe you did that.”
“You sound frustrated,” I said, more amused than I probably should have been at her pouting.
“Probably because I am frustrated.”
I saw my opportunity and swam in like a shark, sitting down on the bed next to her prone form. “If that’s the case, feel free to take it out on me.”
At that, she groaned and grabbed a pillow, putting it over her head. Naturally, I pulled it away only for her to sit up and poke me in the chest. It was just a simple touch, barely any sensation, and yet it lit me up like a solstice, letting a welcoming fire flow through my veins.
“Mister, you havenoidea just how much frustration builds up over three years of pining. If I took that all out on you, you would bedead.”
Oh? That was an admission I certainly hadn’t expected. Naturally, my mind went to picturing exactly how she’d solved that frustration while maintaining her status as the healing hermit. It was so easy to imagine it, her flushed and whining in the middle of her bed, writhing with her hand between her legs.But at the same time, there were details I was dying to know. Was her whole face flushed when she was embarrassed? Just her cheeks? What sounds would she make?
Her voice had been so trembling, so honeyed when we’d first made love that I was sure I’d become addicted. I had to know if she'd repeat those sounds with me or have her own when she was on her lonesome.
“In that case, I’ll take three full years trying to make it up to you in whatever way you see fit.” My voice was low as I leaned in closer, closer, andcloser, until our lips were almost touching. I stopped just a hair away, willing Ayla to eradicate the gap between us and admit she wanted me just as much as I wanted her.
For a moment it seemed like she'd do just that. Her eyes were half-closed, and her cheeks were oh so perfectly pink. But after a long, pregnant pause, she let out an aggravated sound and rolled off the bed into a standing position.
As impressed as I was by the smooth move, I wasn’t exactly happy about it. Frowning, I knew I was giving her a look, but her face had moved from playful to downright stormy.
“You’d think after a magical trap out of nowhere nearly killed you that your preservation skills would've kicked in by now, but since they haven’t, let me elucidate it for you. Stay away from me. For your own safety.”
I was already over this argument, though I could sense it was one we were likely to have quite often. So I just shrugged, wanting to move on to something actually productive, or potentially even reproductive, if I was lucky.
Apparently, that was the wrong move to make, because Ayla just looked even more pissed. Damn it.
“Fuck this,” she said, turning on her heel. “I’ll just go sleep with Darla.”
Growling in frustration, I jumped off the bed and stood in front of the door. I'd let Ayla leave if she wanted to—I wasn’t going to imprison her with me—but I just wanted a second for her to hear me out.
“Look, I’m sorry if I’ve upset you. I’ll sleep on the floor if it makes you feel better, but please, Ayla, I just need to be near you for a bit, all right? I worry that if you continue trying to keep us apart that I’m going to go into withdrawal. Maybe you, too.”
It was something I hadn’t wanted to say because it felt borderline manipulative, but itwassomething I was concerned about.
It wasn’t like it was an irrational fear. All shifters knew they generally needed to stay around their mate for at least a few days after their first joining, and at least a week after fulfilling the entire mating bond, and that forcing them to be apart could cause a real chemical drop that made shifters sick. It was considered an especially cruel crime, so the fact that Ayla was doing it purposefully to us didn’t quite sit right with me.
I wasn’t sure what I'd expected from Ayla, but it wasn’t for her eyes to grow red rimmed, her lips pressing into a thin line.
“I’m just trying to protect you. Why are you making this so difficult?”
Oh gods, was she going to cry? Had I just made my mate cry?Again!Maybe the real reason that Ayla was avoiding me was because clearly, I sucked.
“Ayla…” I said, but she moved to the bed and crawled under the covers, reminding me of a child trying to hide from the Boogeyman. I didn’t want to be a source of fear for her, but I didn’t really think it was fair that she insisted on keeping me in the dark about whatever it was she was supposedly protecting me from, either.
Of course, I could figure out certain parts from context clues, and if I had to guess, it was probably a curse. She was a witch, after all, and they went hand in hand.
But I didn’t want to figure it out. I wanted her to tell me, to trust me. I was serious about going through our lives together as the mates that fate willed us to be, but it felt like she didn’t really believe that.
