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I shake my head, denial hitting me. “No. I can’t be.”
She sits down, moving the bin out of our way. I’m still kneeling, so I sit back on my arse next to her, a little dazed.
“When was the last time you had a period?” Jordan asks softly.
I take a deep breath, wondering when, and can’t think. I haven’t had one recently, that’s for sure. My eyes widen when it comes to me.
“I haven’t had one since a few weeks after we returned from our break. I remember because I had a bad one.”
“Babe, I hate to say this, but I think you should do a test. Do you have regular periods?”
“I have one every month like clockwork. They last a few days at the most.”
“Then let’s go get a test.”
I turn to her, my eyes filled with tears. “I can’t be pregnant. Not right now.”
She wraps her arm around my shoulder, pulling me into her. “It will be fine, Allie. You’ll figure this out.”
I pull out of her hold, glancing at her as tears fall. “CJ is barely speaking to me. I’m in school and don’t even have a well paid job. I don’t know the first thing about raising a baby. How am I supposed to be a mother? I’m only twenty, Jordan!”
“Hey, mums have children younger than you and make it. Some might get a helping start, but they make it, Allie.”
She’s right, they do, but still… Am I ready to be a mother? Is CJ ready to be a father? I can’t tell him about this now; he has so much going on. But I don’t know if I can do this on my own.
“What should I do?”
She gets up off the floor and holds her hand out for me. I let her pull me up. “Let’s get you a test first. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. It might be that you’re right and you’re stressed.”
I nod, still dazed by it all.
*** *** ***
We pull up outside my flat, the paper bag clutched tightly in my hand. When someone walks out of the building, I panic, shoving the pharmacy bag inside my school bag.
“Do you want me to come up with you?” Jordan asks.
I shake my head. “No, I need to do this on my own.”
“What about CJ; are you going to tell him?”
I sigh. I haven’t thought about it yet. “I don’t know. I want to get this done first. I don’t want to add more to his plate, only for it to come up negative.”
“Okay. Did you want me to pick you up after classes tomorrow, so you can get your car from the library?”
“I think I’m gonna call in sick tomorrow. I’ll ask Cole and Willow to go get it, if I see them.”
“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?”
I force a smile and open the car door. “Yeah, I’ll be fine.”
“Call me later if you need me, or tomorrow. Whichever. Just know I’m here.”
I shut the door behind me and lean in through the window. “Thank you. And thank you for tonight—with the files, and this.”
“It’s what friends do,” she says softly.
I tap the top of the car and head up the stairs to our building. Everything seems to be like a cloud of smoke. I have no idea what the results of this tests will say. I have no idea what my future will hold.
