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I shake my head, kissing him to ease his fears. “I understand. Just don’t do that to me again, please. We’re supposed to be partners. And I’ve missed you so much.”
He starts to relax, sitting back to put some space between us. He looks at me, like, really looks at me, and I start to feel uncomfortable under his gaze. Can he tell?
“Cupcake? What’s wrong? You look like you’ve been crying for days and had no sleep. Has something happened? Is your dad okay? God, I’m an arsehole. I’ve been selfish and not considered what you’ve been going through.”
I flick my eyes over his shoulder, concentrating on my door. “My dad’s fine. I’m fine. Stop fretting.”
He inhales. “You’re lying to me.”
I glance at him, tears in my eyes. “I’m scared to tell you. I don’t want you to leave me.”
He sits back a little, his face turning a deathly shade of green as he swallows. “Did you cheat on me?”
Hurt, I glance at him sharply. “What, no. I’d never cheat on you. Ever. I thought you knew me better than that.”
Guilt flashes across his face. “Then what’s going on? Why are you pale and acting scared?”
“I—I don’t know how to tell you,” I say, tears falling now.
He wipes them away with the pads of his thumbs. “Cupcake, you can tell me anything. You know that, right?”
I close my eyes, praying with my whole heart that I don’t lose him. “I’m pregnant.”
When he starts laughing, I open my eyes, puzzled. He calms, glancing at me. “Cupcake, I thought my life was over a few minutes ago when I thought the love of my life was dead. Now is the not the time to be joking.”
I glance down at my lap before staring back up at him. “CJ, I’m not joking,” I whisper, then lean over to open my top drawer, and pass him the pregnancy stick.
He holds it, gazing down at it with a mixture of emotions. It’s hard to tell what he’s thinking, so I sit, twiddling my fingers in my lap.
“Please say something,” I plead, my voice hoarse.
“Please tell me I’m not holding piss in my hand right now?”
Before I can stop it, I laugh, and once I start, I can’t stop. It gets worse when he drops it to the floor, his face filled with disgust as he wipes his hand on his leg.
Only CJ could make a serious matter funny.
I wipe my tears as my laughter slows into chuckles.
“You’re really pregnant? With my baby?”
“No, with Jesus’s baby. Of course, it’s yours.”
When he glances down at my stomach, his eyes light up so bright it brings a smile to my face. “We’re having a baby?”
“I was hoping for an alien, but a baby is good,” I tease, wiping his tears away now when he meets my gaze.
He chuckles. “When did you find out?”
“Two days ago.”
He frowns. “And you didn’t tell me because I’ve been so distant?”
I nod, squeezing his hands. “I didn’t want to add more to your plate. You’re going through so much already.”
“But nothing trumps our baby, Allie. I’m so fucking sorry. I should have been here for you. Is that why you were scared to tell me, because you didn’t know how I’d react?”
I inhale, hoping he doesn’t take offence to my reply. “Yes and no. I didn’t know if you wanted a baby. We’ve not been together long and we’re still in school. Then there’s the whole mess we’re going through right now—with the killer on the loose. I just kept thinking about how you reacted to his DNA being a part of you. I didn’t know how you’d react.”
