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I dropped my hands into my lap and stared at the marble countertop. “I don’t know,” I said sadly. And I didn’t know. It was childish of me, and yet I did it every time.
“Even when I am with her, I picture you.” I flinched at the bite in his words. I was guilt-ridden. “I have told you this before. In your condo, I told you. It isneverthe other way around.”
I looked up. Kova strode over with the bottle of wine and refilled his glass I had emptied. He swiped it up and downed it, all while keeping his haunted eyes glued to mine. He refilled it again, emptying the wine bottle completely.
The look in his eyes hurt me and I regretted saying anything. I knew it wasn’t true, I could tell in the way he looked down at me, how he moaned my name, how he kissed me afterward, that he wasn’t looking at the pictures.
Everything was clear as water, and I had to go and screw it up with my worries.
This scene was deleted after the first draft of Release had been completed. I felt it came across as an irrational fight and unnecessary to the plot at this point in their relationship. Adrianna hadn’t been feeling well, and she chewed out Kova unfairly. I needed them to move forward, and this only held them back.
“Do you think you can rinse off without me?” Kova asked.
I nodded. All I had to do was stand there. Shouldn’t be too hard.
“I will be right back with clothes. If you need me, just yell.”
“Okay,” I said meekly.
Kova carefully let me go and stepped out of the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. Humiliation burned in my cheeks. I stood in the shower and turned it on, not waiting for the water to warm. I let the ice water trickle down my naked body. Wrapping my arms around my stomach, I held myself.
I held back the tears that shimmered in my eyes and exhaled a breath. My lower lip quivered. Kova was attentive when I wasn’t able to tend to myself and it evoked feelings inside of me I couldn’t explain. I was drawn to his caring nature and found myself wanting to see more of it. There was a closeness between us that I’d never felt with anyone else.
I rinsed and then shut the water off. As I toweled myself dry, I noticed Kova’s toothbrush on the counter. I brushed my teeth, feeling a million times better now that the awful taste was gone. I couldn’t believe I had thrown up like that in front of him. I felt better once I had, but I felt so bad for him.
I rummaged through his bathroom drawers until I found a comb. Wiping the foggy mirror, my nose scrunched as I observed my reflection. Drained of color except for my scarlet cheeks, my usual olive skin tone took on a milky porcelain hue. I looked hollow. What had happened to me in the course of a couple of hours?
I looked toward the sound of the door opening. Kova strode in and pulled up short. His eyes widened, raking a gaze down my body.
I put my hand up. “I know… I look like a ghost.”
He observed me with careful eyes. “How do you feel?”
“Much better actually. I’m exhausted, but I don’t feel sick anymore.” I bit my lip. “I’m so sorry about that. I don’t know what happened.”
He shrugged it off and it put my humiliation at ease.
I reached for the clothes in his hands and held up the oversized shirt, but my eyes immediately lowered when I saw the red lacy underwear among the pile. I focused on them.
Did he really give me Katja’s underwear? Who owned red lace underwear anymore? My eyes blazed as fury bubbled under my skin. I held them up to his face with my extended index finger.
“I know you’re fucking kidding me, Kova.”
His eyes gleamed, and he gave me a lopsided grin that ruffled my feathers even more. “I like the sound of my name on your lips. Say it again.”
My eyes bore into his. “Tell me this is a joke.”
He shrugged like it was nothing. My jaw dropped. How could he not see it as strange?
“I prefer you to wear nothing, but I was not sure you would like that after how ill you have been feeling.”
I shifted on my feet, holding the towel to my chest. “Would you like to wear a pair of Hayden’s boxers?”
He stared right through me, ignoring my question. Finally, he got it.
Kova reached out and yanked the panties from my hand. He spun around and marched out of the bathroom.
The nerve of him. As if I would ever wear his fiancée’s underwear.
