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“Where are my clothes?” I yelled after him.
“Look in your hands!” he yelled from his bedroom.
I grumbled under my breath. “This is your shirt. I need my bag from your car so I can dress and go home.”
Kova walked back into the bathroom. He looked perplexed.
“What?” I said as he stood there with his head angled to the side.
“You are not staying here?”
I was shocked he assumed I would. “What gave you that idea?”
“Adrianna,” he said slowly. “You are in no condition to be alone. Please, stay. I want you to be here.”
My jaw plummeted to the floor. “You want me to stay here after you just gave me Katja’s underwear? After the picture on your refrigerator? I feel like those are all signs I need to leave. Throwing up was the icing on the cake.”
Kova marched out of the bathroom again. Moments later he was back and holding the picture in front of my face.
“You think I care about this? You think this is what I am thinking about when I am with you?”
My lips twisted. “Well, it was right in front of your face when I was giving you a blow job, so how could you not?”
Kova’s face contorted into a sneer. The jutting vein in his arm caught my attention. He looked ready to snap. After giving the photograph a good, hard look, he tore it in two, then in four. My jaw went slack as I watched him toss the remnants into the garbage. His actions stunned me into silence.
“Sometimes I wonder what the hell it is that keeps me coming back to you when I am reminded so often why I should stay away.”
I crossed my arms in front of my hurting heart, trying to appear tough even though I was worried to hear his response.
“Oh yeah? And what’s that?”
“That you are still a child at the end of the day and have a lot of growing to do. I do not know why I bother.”
I wanted to reach up and slap him, but I didn’t have the energy. Instead, I stood there with unshed tears in my eyes, not holding back how I felt hearing those words.
“Why do you make it so easy for me to hate you? Is that what you want? For me to ultimately walk away forever? That’s how you make me feel sometimes.”
He studied me. “Sometimes I would rather your hate.”
“Instead of what?”
He stepped closer to me. “Your love.”
I scoffed and stepped back. “You think everyone just falls at your feet when they see you.”
“No. Only you.”
My eyes lowered and my nostrils flared. “I could never love a person who is as selfish as you. You think you have me pegged.”
Hurt flashed in his eyes and I immediately felt guilty. I felt him recede from me and that only made things worse. The closer I got to Kova, the more I saw how selfless he truly was. My gaze dropped to the floor. I shouldn’t have said it. Damn it. I really needed to start thinking before I responded.
“I know I do. You are just too young to see it. I did not give you anything of hers to be an asshole, Adrianna. I did it so you had something to wear. I was trying to be considerate, for you, because you asked me to.”
I clenched my eyes shut for a long moment and then finally looked up at him. Remorse was written all over my face. How did I say I was sorry when I was embarrassed?
The crack in his voice pierced my chest.
He let his guard down for a fleeting moment. Kova was showing me a piece of him he kept hidden from the world. How could I deny that?
