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“I should have told you first.”
I shrugged. “At the end of the day, you’re going to do what you want regardless of who you hurt. It’s how you operate. It is what it is, Kova.”
He shook his head and moved closer toward me. I moved as further back as I could.
“I owed that to you, but at the same time, it is my life and my choices. You have to know that we could never be anything more. It is just not possible. You do realize that, right?”
“You have an opulent way of bringing me up and crushing me at the same time. Do you treat Katja the same way?”
“And you have an opulent way of always bringing her up when it is just me and you.”
A small smile lifted the corner of my mouth. “Touché.”
“I am sorry I made you cry.”
“Oh, these tears aren’t because of you…. For once.”
His head tilted to the side and his eyes narrowed. “Hayden.”
“None of your business.”
Kova’s gaze bore into mine. The weight of his eyes penetrated the deepest part of my heart and wrapped around it, breathing in life and sucking it from me at the same time. He had this uncanny ability to make me feel every emotion under the sun when all I wanted to do was remain numb to the pain. I wanted to feel nothing, but he never allowed me the beauty of that. Where Kova was concerned, it was always about what he wanted. And as much as I wanted to refute it, deep down, I must’ve desired the same and not comprehended it because I always caved. Always.
Fun truth about Release: Hayden and Reagan we’re supposed to be in a relationship that was circled around her pill addiction. That story line was nixed for a few reasons. One being that it never sat right in my gut, and two, it felt like drama for the sake of drama.
This scene was revised multiple times. Hayden was in the bathroom when his cellphone began dinging. Curious, Adrianna took it upon herself to pick it up and snoop through his messages. Much to her shock, she finds out Hayden’s not only having sex with Reagan, but he also gives her caffeine pills. Adrianna becomes a bit unhinged.
“That’s because I’m realizing you’re not who I thought you were!” I strode around the bed and stood in front of him. “How long?” Hayden shook his head and flattened his lips. His chest contracted and he blew out a breath through clenched teeth. When he didn’t respond, I pushed. “How long, Hayden?”
His eyes lowered in disdain. “As if you’re some innocent angel.”
“How long?” I pressed through gritted teeth.
“It’s none of your fucking business, Adrianna,” he spat. “Just drop it.”
“Tell me! I deserve to know.”
My nerves were simmering. “Why can’t you tell me how long?”
“Because you’re not going to like what I have to say,” he answered. I swallowed hard and waited, unprepared for his resentment dripped response. “Months. We’ve been on and off for months.”
All the blood drained from my face. The silence was deafening, my ears were ringing.
“Months?” I whispered, dizzy. If I could have predicted how this day would have gone, this wouldn’t have ever been an option in my mind. “Months? How could that be? You and Reagan have been having sex for months? You’re that close to her? I feel like I don’t even know you right now.”
Hayden stared brazenly. “It’s really none of your business.”
“I know it’s not, that’s not what I’m saying. But you should have told me. This is kind of a conflict of interest thing. How do I know you’re not going and telling her anything we’ve spoken about?”
His eyes bore into mine. For a split second, I regretted my words. “What if she’s hooking up with you to try to get dirt on me because she suspects something?”
My guilt was a bright, shining star.
“If you have to question my loyalty, that’s on you, not me. I don’t need to prove myself to you.”
Turning around, Hayden stomped his way out of the room.
What I didn’t ask him was a question I wasn’t willing to face myself. Could we ever truly be together?
