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I just wished it were sooner rather than later.
“You kiss me all the time. Last night you had more than just sex with me. How do you do that when you’re married?” My voice splintered between trying to stay strong and fucking breaking inside.
“Adrianna… ” He eased into his next question. “You did not think I could marry you, did you?”
“Congratulations. You’ve managed to break every little thing in me. I’ll put myself back together and you’ll never have me again. Never. We’re through. You’re married now. Marriage has different rules. You don’t just marry someone for fun, you lunatic. Did you actually think I would continue with you once you were married?” I laughed mockingly, fighting my emotions.
“We were never right before, but that did not stop us.”
My jaw dropped. He was serious. “Two wrongs don’t make a right. Things have changed.Wehave to change.” I paused, my voice cracking, “Please, just leave and go home and be with your wife. I’m sure she’s wondering where you are. I know I would be.”
The scene below is one of those moments when the story starts to bleed together after years of working on it. It’s hard to keep track of what happens in which book and chapter.
In all honesty, by this point in the series, I’d been too focused on Adrianna’s story to realize I’d already given Reagan a backstory when I created a new one for her. I even gave Reagan new parents.
This was meant to be read inRelease, but thankfully my editor caught it and salvaged what she could so I could revise it.
We had a few good laughs over it.
“I was born a bitch with a monstrous chip on my shoulder, Adrianna.”
When I gave her a pointed look, she continued. “Okay, fine. Let’s just say when your ambition and means don’t exactly align, it can change a person. Harden them. I have the talent and drive to surpass this place”—she nodded toward the gym in general—“but my parents don’t exactly have the funds for more than this. And I want more. I have every intention of getting a full ride to a Division One college. And nothing or no one will stop me.
It’s why my mother put me up for adoption when I was six. Old enough to remember everything about her, young enough not to know what I did wrong. The way she always smelled like vanilla, the color of her worn out ashy hair, the tattered clothes she wore when she left me and never even glanced over her shoulder as I watched her walk away and grab the hand of her boyfriend. Then you’re thrown into home after home until the one you actually like sticks only for them to take off and leave as soon as they can with the government’s money meant for you. Shit like that fucks with your head and changes you.”
Everything about Reagan made sense now. She had to grow a thick skin to stay afloat so she wouldn’t sink and drown. It was why she needed a gymnastics scholarship for college. She had no other way to support herself.
She didn’t want me to get into her personal life, I wouldn’t either if I were her, but I had to ask one question.
“But aren’t they using that money for you to train and live here?”
She scoffed. “No. They pay half; I have a scholarship through World Cup for the rest.”
My brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”
“World Cup will grant a scholarship to those in need and help pay for the training. The coaches were well-aware of my amazing life,” she said sarcastically. “They’ve been there for me more than anyone, especially Kova. He’s been more of a father figure to me than anyone else. When he found out the truth, he kept a detailed journal of unusual occurrences revolving around me. One day he got fed up when I came in with all my hair chopped off haphazardly and a puffy eye. He could tell I’d been hit. That day he threatened to call CPS on them. He made some demands, and shortly after, he and Katja took me in for a little while until he helped me get my own place. My foster parents didn’t care, they just wanted the money. He told them they could choke on it.”
I pulled back and stopped dead in my tracks, my brows nearly lifting off my head. Reagan noticed and turned to look at my shocked face.
“But you’re only seventeen.” My voice squeaked in utter shock.
She walked back over to me, looking concerned. “And?”
“How long ago was this?”
Reagan used her hands and signaled me to lower my voice. “I moved in with them three years ago, then they helped me get an apartment just over a year ago.”
I knew my eyes were the size of saucers, but I couldn’t help it. This was shocking news. “You lived with them that long?” My head spun with so many questions I couldn’t stop the first thoughts from flying out of me. “But who pays for it? How do you buy food? What about your utilities? A car?” I paused, then said, “Does Kova pay for all that!”
“Dude. Don’t get all worked up,” she said, rolling her eyes. “He isn’t mydaddyor anything.”
At that, I burst out laughing and threw my head back. She looked away to hide her smile. I heard the faintest chuckle come from her.
“Then how?” I was truly baffled. Kova was an enigma. A devil and an angel. A thunderstorm and a sun shower.
Reagan sighed and looked over her shoulder, then back at me before we walked back into World Cup. “Listen, I’m not going to explain my life. But just so you know, Kova isn’t my sugar daddy or anything like that.Heisa decent person though. Believe me, I’ve lived with him and Katja.” She paused, chewing her lip. “It wasn’t just your face I saw that day, I saw his face too. By helping you, I was helping him, even if I don’t agree with whatever you two weirdos have going on.”
Once inside, we changed, cooled off quietly, and hydrated. I was still struck by another secret side of Kova I never knew about, and it threw me off balance.
