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I was quiet. My voice small. “Yeah. I’m drained and really feeling the pressure. All these girls are so much younger than me, so much better—”
“Adrianna,” he said, and I stopped at the caution in his tone. “Forget what they look like or how old they are. You are there for a reason, just like them. Trust me when I tell you, those young gymnasts look up to you. They do not see a woman with an Achilles injury, or someone who has been working her ass off harder than a football player, or someone who created her own schedule to do more because she is always willing to find room for improvement. They see someone larger than them, older, someone they aspire to be as they grow with the sport. The girls look up to you more than you think.”
Tears filled my eyes. I flattened my lips and held back my silent cry. I released a breath through my mouth and nodded as if he were in front of me.
“Stop discrediting yourself,” Kova said. “You are more incredible than you think. Is this why you called?”
I sniffled. “Yes and no. I just wanted to hear your voice and take my mind off things. It’s a lot to take in, you know? I don’t have anyone here with me to lean on or look to if I’m nervous about something.”
“You will always have me, anytime of the day, anywhere you are.”
My jaw trembled. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“You would get by just fine,malysh.”
Twistis my favorite book of the series. The story had been dying to pour out of me for months, so much so that I refused to write any more puzzle piece type scenes and forced myself to pen the story in order. The pent-up emotions, worries and resentments, fears, they were all centralized to be released between Kova and Adrianna in this book, essentially causing a lock to bolt their relationship shut. There was no going back for them thereafter.
Below is the rough and raw first chapter ofTwistbefore my editor got her hands on it. Getting this chapter right was pivotal after the cliffhanger inRelease.
“Your kidneys are failing.”
I stared, unblinking, replaying the devastating words in my head.
Dr. Kozol stated it again, slower, like I hadn’t heard him the first time. I’d heard him loud and clear. The shock of the diagnosis made it difficult to process. My doctor became a blurry image as silent tears rolled down my cheeks.
“It’s not a matter ofifyou will die, but a matter ofwhenyou will die. This needs to be your first priority.”
“Wh…what?” I stammered. “You mean because of the lupus that they’re not working right? Isn’t that what the medicine is for?”
This was one of those heart stopping instances in life where denial was at the forefront of my mind. It was all I could see. All I wanted to feel in order to avoid the reality. This was a moment where someone was about to shatter my entire world with the weight of a few words.
I wasn’t prepared.
I wasn’t sure anyone could ever be prepared, and I wanted to choose to believe otherwise because I didn’t want to accept it. He was wrong. My kidneys were okay.
“What I’m saying is that aside from the lupus, you have kidney disease. This is very serious, Adrianna.”
I was in a daze, refusing to process his statement. I didn’t have kidney disease. Kidney disease killed people, and I was fine. I wasn’t that sick.
“The tests indicate stage four kidney disease,” Dr. DeLang said regrettably.
I looked over at her and choked back a swallow, my throat dry. Stage four.
Like a stage of cancer.
My body ran cold and goose bumps broke out down my arms. I was motionless, unblinking. I couldn’t even feel my fingers. The number four banged around the inside of my head, taunting me.
“Stage four kidney disease? Plus lupus?” I said. I barely heard myself.
Dr. DeLang nodded, her face somber.
“How many stages are there?”
“Five.”
My stomach dropped. Five stages, and I was already at four. Both doctors looked at me with sympathy.
I felt the rise of tears climb up the back of my eyes. Nostrils flaring, I didn’t want to cry, but the shocking news I was just delivered came with no positive outcome. I knew that much. Between lupus and kidney disease, my body was failing me, and failing me fast.
