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“I don’t know,” I say. “I don’t like feeling this way. I don’t want anyone else to feel this way.”
“What happened?” Clara says.
I don’t look up from where my face is still pressed against Jack’s shoulder. “She’s just a little overwhelmed,” he says when I don’t answer.
I’m not sure who I’m more embarrassed to fall apart around, Jack or Clara. Really, I can’t think of two people I’d hate to see me burst into tears during a museum simulation more.
“Oh, Rainey,” Clara says. “She’s always been like that,” she adds to Jack. “She has a big heart.”
This makes me laugh.Big-heartedis not how I would describe my attitude toward my sister this morning.
I groan and lift my head, nearly blinded when I drop my handsfrom my face. “I’m good now,” I say, and avoid making eye contact with either of them.
Jack steps back and Clara swoops her arm around my shoulders as we exit the room and step inside the gift shop. I’m sure Clara would like to stay and buy a few things, but she doesn’t stop. “It was the fucking video, wasn’t it? Honestly, I was close to crying too.”
“No you weren’t.”
Clara sighs. “Teensy lie for sisterly solidarity. You don’t have to call me out on it. But really, you can’t be blamed. They pulled out all the stops. Just like in—”
“Tarzan,” we both say.
Clara laughs. “Phil Collins broke her,” she explains to Jack. “He didn’t have to go that hard.”
“I’ll never forgive him, even if he is a genius,” I say.
As soon as we step outside, Clara and I look at each other and start singing “You’ll Be in My Heart” at top volume. Jack raises his eyebrows in surprise at Clara’s awful singing (and rightfully so).
“You two are something else,” he says.
—
That evening, Clara and I occupy one of the snugs at the Local for dinner and drinks. Sebastian is curled up beside me. He’s been going between me and Jack, who is working behind the bar tonight, all evening.
I’ve gotten no closer to figuring out why Clara’s really here, but after my hot mess of a morning, I’ve had enough emotions for the day and don’t want to risk asking directly. Instead I watch Jack as he pours pints for a group that’s just walked in. It’s busier in the Local than it used to be. I close my eyes and can barely hear the music playing overhead. I strain to hear it, and as soon as I make out the song, my eyes fly open.
“What?” Clara says.
“Listen!”
“To what?”
“The music!”
“What about it?”
“It’s me! That’s one of my covers!” My eyes find Jack, who is busy making drinks. He mouths along to the words as he pulls a pint, and I catch myself audibly sighing.
Clara follows my gaze. “Okay, I’ve been very respectful, but I need to know what the deal is with you and Cat Dad.”
I roll my eyes. “Stop calling him that.”
“Youcalled him that first. It isn’t my fault it’s catchy,” Clara says. She takes a sip of her drink. When she sets it down again, she says, “So... is this serious?”
I look away from Jack. “Of course not. I can’t just... stay in Cobh. I love traveling. And Jack’s got responsibilities here. Our lives don’t match up.”
Clara stirs her gin and tonic with her straw. “Mm... but do youfeelserious about him?”
“I... don’t know.” I adjust in my seat, pulling both feet up under myself. “I don’t think it matters.”
