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“Yeah.” A smile enters his voice. “I’m glad we were able to be here.”
I keep massaging him, working out the knotted muscles in his shoulders. Gradually, his body starts to relax, allowing mine to do the same. I don’t normally mirror him, but sometimes when I can feel he’s had a bad day, I find my own muscles tensed up.
“You okay?” I ask, my voice sounding loud in the empty room.
“Mmhmm.” He’s quiet for a few minutes before mumbling, “Actually, I’ve had a bad day.”
“Why?”
“The wedding was great and all, but, when I was moving between the wedding to the reception hall, I got a call from a police detective. One of the foster dads they took me away from moved states years ago and started fostering again just shortly after I left him. I guess no one even bothered to do a background check on him.” He shakes his head. “They want me to testify at the trial.”
“Shawn.” I release his shoulders so I can sit in the chair across the table from him. “What do you need me to do?”
“Nothing.” He swallows and looks down at his camera on the table. “I have to do it, right?”
“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.” I know some people might think I should push him into helping with the trial, but I can’t do it. Shawn’s suffered enough from those people; he shouldn’t have to be part of their world ever again.
“If I don’t, I’ll feel bad. I’ll feel like I didn’t do enough to stop him.” He lifts a hand and rubs his forehead. “I just wish he hadn’t been given more kids. He put me in the hospital, for fuck’s sake.”
My heart aches for him, but I can’t do anything to ease his pain. It’s one of the hardest things about our relationship. Just like with Natalie and her cancer. These people I love so much, there’s nothing I can do to make anything better for him. All I can do is sit and hold his hand, let him know I’m here for him.
He’s opened up some about his foster homes and even his time on the street, and I’ve done my best not to let the horror fill my expression. The truth is, I have no idea how Shawn’s survived all this time. And it kills me to think of him going through all of that alone.
“Take some time to think about it,” I say when he stays silent for a while. “You don’t have to make any decisions today. Let’s just go home and relax, and the answer will come to you, okay?”
He glances up and gives me a tired smile. “Have I told you lately how fucking sexy you are?”
I laugh. “Not recently.”
“Well, you are.” He sighs and glances around the empty room. “I loved being a part of this wedding, but I hate that we couldn’t spend any time of it together.”
I glance around the empty room before standing and holding out my hand. “You want to dance with me?”
His smile widens, and he puts his hand in mine, threading our fingers together.
I pull him up and wrap my arm around his waist, allowing my free hand to settle at his hip. “It’s too bad they decided to hold the ceremony in a church. Because I desperately want to do something wicked things to you right now.”
He laughs as he puts his other hand on my shoulder and steps close to start slow dancing. “I love you.”
My heart nearly jumps into my throat. It’s the first time he’s ever said that.
His eyes widen like he’s realizing it at the same time, and I brace for him to get upset or nervous about it, but to my surprise, his eyes soften. “I do love you,” he says. “So much that is scares me sometimes.”
“I know what you mean.”
He rests his cheek against mine as we dance to no music in this empty room. “I’m upset about the trial and everything, but I’m not scared.”
“It’s okay if you are.”
“I know. But I’m really not.” He turns his head slightly so he can kiss my cheek. “Everything is a little less scary when I’m with you. And I’m sorry it took me a while to really grasp it, but I know you’ll be there no matter what.”
I squeeze his hand. “Of course I will.”
He sighs contentedly, and his body relaxes against me. I love how he trusts me now, trusts that I’ll give him everything he needs. Trusts that I’m not going anywhere. I’m planning on spending forever showing him just how much he means to me.
