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"I don't think you love me." He pulled into himself. "You should prove that you love me."
"How?" Roxy became frustrated.
"You tell me." He looked over at her with pure disappointment on his face. “Maybe if I killed myself you would finally show how much you care.”
She rolled her eyes “Stop, what do you want me to do?”
“I'm not giving you any hints, you figure it out.” He balked.
“Fine, I'll get a job, get my own apartment and you won't have to see me ever again.” she stood.
“See, I told you that you don't love me.” He cowered into the cushion, sulking, “I love you, I was going to marry you and we would have spent our lives together, you would've been my wife. Wouldn’t you like that?”
“I don't know Ben. I don't know what you want from me anymore. I don't know where we've been, I don't know what happened to us and I don't know what I want in life. I'll be out of your hair as soon as I can be.” She turned to leave the room.
“No, please don't. Just come here.” Roxy stepped over to him and he grabbed her hand pulling her down, “sit by me.”
She plopped next to him until he fell asleep on the couch and then went to bed alone, knowing the next day she would say she tried to wake him and act baffled that he didn't remember any part of it.
Chapter Twenty Five
June First
“See, didn't that feel good getting your workout first thing in the morning?” He stepped into the elevator first.
“Sure.” Roxy was still tired after their six am workout.
“I'm just looking out for you, a lot of girls would be attracted to me, I'm a pretty good looking man. The lady at the reception desk looked at us like we were a weird couple.” The elevator lifted and Roxy stayed quiet. “You know you’re pretty but if you lost ten pounds, you would be hot, you need to take care of yourself.” He rambled on, “Don’t be mad, you don't have anybody to look out for you except me. This is for your best interest and people will respect you more if you lose weight.”
Roxtyn was glad he was going to his first day of work. “I know,” she said as the elevator dinged, opening to the thirteenth floor. Her plans for the day was to do more job hunting, so she could get her own apartment and movefaraway from Ben. Being with him was like putting on a pair of synthetic jeans. At first, they felt great, they fit perfectly. But as time went on, they started to sag and get loose, they just didn't fit right anymore, didn't hold their value; they were gross. She didn’t love those pants anymore.
Ben unlocked his door at the end of the hall and walked in first. She looked at the building staircase door passing by it and thought of how many times she had almost needed or wanted to use it after arguments. But Ben hand always came back with his empty promises and apologies, and for some dumb reason she always fell for them. It was part of her survival mode.
“Are you going to find a job today?”
“I’m going to go down to the cafe and look online, it helps me focus when I'm there.” She closed the door.
“Good, " he turned to her, grabbing her by the waist. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.” She lied and knew the last five months she wasn’t with him, he felt like a complete stranger and she couldn’t wait to be away from him. Forever.
“Did you want to shower with me?”
“No, thank you. I'm gonna have coffee and then shower.”
*****
Sitting down at the cafe, Roxtyn opened her laptop on the cafe table and the screen wobbled from broken hinges, but it still worked. She typed in the neighborhood bulletin website and began searching for a job. She was open to other things besides sewing, maybe retail, customer service or the food industry.
The barista interrupted her, “Here's your coffee, ma'am.” Setting it on the table, Roxy responded with a thank you and pulled it close to her. She had scoured the couch, old jackets and under furniture for change, finding almost forty dollars. She sat there without looking up, without getting distracted and applied for a waitress job, a drug store clerk, a seamstress, and even a barista.
People had come and gone and she had been there for a few hours but noticed a man who had not left the entire time she was there. He stared directly at her as she looked at him and every time she looked up, he was staring at her. He was good looking but he was coming off as weird and she didn't understand why he was staring at her so much. Roxy had realized that he was the neighbor from the parking garage and ignored him, thinking maybe he was wondering how he knew her too.
Her phone rang, it was Ben. “Hey,” she answered.
“I'm getting off work a little early today.” His voice cracked on the speaker.
She closed the laptop, “All right, I'll meet you at home.”
