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I stared at him through teary eyes and shook my head, refusing to let the word leave my lips. I had asked him for this class to show him that I could handle anything that he wanted to do to me, not to safeword in the middle of it and embarrass myself.
“I’m fine, Professor Patton,” I forced myself to say.
“Sierra …”
“Please continue,” I said. “Or did you stop because you don’t have it in you to—”
He zapped me again. Tears wavered in my eyes.
Fuck, that hurt.
I dropped my head so nobody could see the pain written all over my face. While he stood behind me and couldn’t see my expression either way, he stiffened, his breath hitching against my bare shoulder.
Is this it? Is this really what he enjoys? How will I be able to handle this forever? It hurts worse than anything else has.
When I showed no sign of backing down or saying my safeword, even though my body ached and my heart pounded so loudly inside my chest that I could hear it in my ears, Steven zapped me again.
My legs wobbled as a stray tear ran down my cheek.
“Stand up tall, Sierra, and take your punishment like a good girl.”
While my knees were faltering, I did my best to stand up straight. This was what he wanted, so I had to give it to him. I had to do this for him, so he’d want me just as much as I wanted him. So he’d choose me to be part of his family because we both had nobody.
Three strong zaps came in quick succession, and I cried out in pain.
“Unicorn!” My knees gave out for good, and I hung by my wrists from the restraints, tears running down my cheeks and sobs tumbling out of my mouth faster than I could stop them. “Unicorn! Unicorn! Unicorn!”
45
steven
“Class is dismissed,” I said, unbinding Sierra as quickly as I could. “Everyone, out. Now.”
The students quickly dispersed into Radiant, and I grabbed Sierra’s wrists before she could drop completely to the ground. Her body had seemed to give out. Or maybe I had pushed her far past her limits. Had she said her safeword quietly at first and I just hadn’t heard it?
Sierra pulled herself away from me and hugged her body.
I ignored the pinch of pain from her sudden actions and crouched down in front of her. “Sierra, what hurts?”
No response.
“What do you need?”
A sob.
“Can I get you anything, love? Please talk to me.”
When she still didn’t respond, I grabbed a blanket from the closet and draped it across her shoulders, placing her on the couch on the side of the room. Once she curled up into a ball with some pillows, I went to grab a water bottle from the cupboard, only to realize that Michelle hadn’t stocked it.
“Sierra, I’m going to grab you some water,” I said, crouching next to her. “Okay?”
No response.
After jogging out into the hallway, I found Michelle walking back to her office. “Michelle!”
She glanced over her shoulder with a big smile that immediately dropped. “What happened?”
“I need water. Something.” I tried to catch my breath. “Anything. Please.”
