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“What happened?” she repeated.
“Sierra said her safeword. The scene ended. She’s freaking out, and I don’t know why. She won’t say anything to me. I need to get her some water and maybe a spare change of comfortable clothes to take her home in.”
“Is she still in the classroom?” Michelle asked.
“Yes.”
“You go get water at the bar. Let me talk to her and try to calm her down,” Michelle said, heading toward the classroom. “Then, I’ll get her changed and to your car. Okay?” She offered me a small smile. “It’s going to be okay.”
While I didn’t like leaving Sierra alone with anyone, I trusted Michelle to dress her and make sure that she was comfortable. Sierra had pulled away from me so suddenly, almost as if she were scared. And she wouldn’t calm down with me around if she feared me.
Heaviness weighed on my chest as I grabbed water from the bar. Does she fear me?
“Steven,” Michelle said, hand on my shoulder before I headed to the car where she had brought Sierra after tending to her, “are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” I snapped, needing to bring Sierra home, where she felt safe.
Before I could run out of Radiant, Michelle grabbed my wrist and yanked me back. With a furrowed brow, she looked over at me and frowned. “If you need someone to talk to about this, I’ll always answer the phone for you, okay?”
After taking a deep breath, I dropped my gaze and nodded. “Thanks.”
Guilt rushed through my system. I shouldn’t have pushed Sierra.
I slipped out of Michelle’s hold and headed for the running car, where Sierra waited, curled up against the window with a bouncer from the club watching her. I nodded to him and slid into the driver’s seat, immediately heading for home.
My hand tightened around the steering wheel. I should’ve stopped before she even said her safeword. I ripped off a piece of skin from my cheek, anxiously tapped my fingers against the wheel, and glanced over at her sobbing body in my passenger seat. I wanted to comfort her, but back at Radiant, she hadn’t wanted me to touch her.
And, God, it fucking hurt.
She still sobbed quietly to herself when we made it back to my high-rise.
“I’m going to lose him. I’m going to lose him. I’m going to lose him,” she choked out between her sobs, holding and making herself small in the corner of the elevator, strands of hair falling into her face. “I’m going to lose him.”
“Who are you going to lose?” I whispered, feet from her.
I wanted to approach her, but she was completely turned away from me, as if she didn’t want to speak to me at all. She glanced over at me through teary eyes, her chin quivering. And then she burst out into more tears, her body shaking uncontrollably.
Deciding that I couldn’t stand here and do nothing, I closed the gap between us and wrapped my arms around her body, no matter how much she stood there, completely closed off to me. Her arms were crossed in front of her body to put space between us, but her head was on my shoulder.
Why hadn’t she said her safeword sooner? I had made sure that she was comfortable with it many times over. I had asked her if she was okay in the middle of the scene, and yet … she had refused to say it until it was too late.
“I’m giving you a bath,” I whispered when the elevator dinged.
The doors opened on the top floor. I picked Sierra up and brought her into my high-rise. As the lights turned on automatically, I placed her down on the cushioned vanity chair and began the warm water, hoping it’d calm her down.
This had never happened to me before, and I loathed myself for it. I should’ve known her limits even better than I’d thought I did and should’ve stopped when I sensed something was wrong. I shouldn’t have kept going, and because I had, we were in this position. Guilt rushed through me. This was my fault.
Once the tub filled up three-fourths of the way, I peeled off Sierra’s clothes and gently placed her down into the bath. Instead of resting her head back against it and relaxing, she drew her knees to her chest and held them close, staring emptily at the soapy water.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
No response.
“Sierra,” I said, moving my fingers toward her to push hair off her face.
She flinched away from me and reached behind her neck with her two hands. “Here,” she said, pulling off her diamond necklace and handing it to me, as if she wanted nothing to do with it anymore.
Sorrow and regret seeped into my bones. Sierra’s breaking up with me?
