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Diego and Oliver were constantly at each other’s side, chatting in low voices and putting their heads together. I didn’t know what they were up to, but it couldn’t be good.
Ryan had been here for two days and had mainly kept his distance aside from leering at me or talking loudly with Cheryl or Julie, so I would overhear him. How could I not? He sounded like he’d recently been to a concert and stood too close to the speaker.
With Gia and Daniel back from their weekend away, the house was full, but it was so worth it. They’d been solid before they had left, but now that they were back, they brought some positivity with them.
Viv and I had been chatting, and she left to run to the bathroom. As soon as she was up the stairs, Ryan moved in. It looked like he was ready to stop beating around the bush, so I sat upright and my eyes narrowed in suspicion.
“What are you doing, baby? You don’t belong on this show. You belong with me.”
I sighed in resignation. Knock-down, drag-out verbal sparring wasn’t how I ever wanted to handle anything. But it was quickly becoming an option. My parents were that type, and growing up with it could have only gone two ways.
Option one: Embrace the explosive nature and carry it into my relationships because I’d been conditioned to think it was normal.
Option two: Strive to communicate better, so I didn’t emotionally scar my hypothetical offspring one day.
I favored option two, but Ryan really made me reconsider my choices.
“How many times do we have to talk about this, Ryan? We’re not good for each other.”
“You barely gave us a shot. You just decided we were done with no warning. We didn’t even talk about it. You iced me out, blocked my number—”
“Oh, good. I thought you didn’t get that hint when you started calling me from another number.”
“Dammit, Sophie. We were good together.”
I snorted. “We absolutely were not.”
“Why not?”
A squeak sounded from behind me. I turned, finding Viv hovering in the doorway. She cleared her throat, then asked, “Uh, Sophie? You okay?”
“Yeah,” I assured her. “Just dealing with something I thought was over and done with ages ago.”
“Oh, burn.” Viv chuckled, then scampered from the room. Smart move. Not that Ryan had ever been violent with me, but his words could hurt and the last thing I wanted was him going after Viv after she’d been such a good friend to me.
I turned back to Ryan, finding him scowling. “To reiterate what I said when you first showed up here for the exes challenge: You are too controlling. You tried to dictate everything in our relationship, which is not how I want to live. I amnotthe right girl for you, and you absolutely need to figure out why you demand that kind of obedience. Is it a control thing? Abandonment issue?”
He flinched like I had hit a nerve, but there was no way I could stop now. “And more than anything, you tried to change how I look. Ilikebeing me—lumps, bumps, stretch marks, curves, and all. Maybe I didn’t appreciate it when I was a kid, but my body has carried me through this life, and I am grateful for it. I refuse to dishonor it by picking apart every societal standard that I don’t fit into—much less any standard a temporary boyfriend finds fault with.”
“I was talking about your health—” Ryan started, but I cut him off. I couldn’t have this same argument. Bodies were different, and no matter how healthy I ate or how much I killed myself in the gym, my curves remained. Iwashealthy. I was just curvy too.
“I didn’t feel likemewhen I was with you, and I will not lose myself to anyone.”
Thunder rolled outside as the sky grew dark, drawing my gaze from a pissed-off Ryan. The clouds hovering over our little island had grown darker in the last day or so, and the patter of rain reached my ears.
“Well, Viv,” I called, turning toward the kitchen. “Looks like we’ll get that thunderstorm after all.”
She poked her head around the wall, proving she hadn’t scampered away, just ducked behind the wall to listen and provide backup if needed. “When did I mention a thunderstorm?”
“The first night here. You were rambling about them after one too many mojitos.”
“Makes sense. I get curious when I drink.”
Ryan cut in, “Sophie, this isn’t talking things through. This is you deciding things for us again.”
I heaved a sigh. “I'm not sure what kind of relationships you were exposed to, but usually when one party wants to leave, the other respects it. Unless a couple of producers want to fuck with you.”
Turning my head toward a camera, I glared, hoping Stephen and Chris could feel my irritation at them through whatever monitor they were watching from.
