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I didn't mind doing that. Because it made it easy for me to forget what was happening and that I didn't really want to be interested in any of it. Sure, there would be times when I disagreed, but Kaden had already shown that I needn't worry and could talk to him. And who knew if it wouldn't be interesting to rebel against his orders at some point? After last night, I wondered how creative he could get when it came to punishing me… and how much I could enjoy it.

I had to smile at the next point.

4. After all the sessions you are to sleep in the same bed as me. There will be no exceptions.

In his mind he had added to this rule that I was to wear absolutely nothing during this time– because Kaden was just Kaden, and after our first session he had laid his head on my thigh and let me run my fingers through his hair. It was just like before. Only without the cloth between us.

And then there was one last point that almost made me refuse to read the real contract at all.

5. I will not force you to do anything, but I will honor everything you give me with the utmost respect.

Kaden claimed to have no interest in feelings or even love, but when I skimmed over these words, I noticed nothing but that. Appreciation, on a level you only experienced with people you cared about for a long time. And our friendship seemed to be just that, significant.

Still, I tore the post-its off the actual sheet and stuck them to my thigh instead, so I could also read what he called the official contract. It did look a bit more formal. Typed on a computer and printed out. There was no personal touch and no indication that Kaden had been the one to do the drafting. I read the first few lines cautiously.

The following contract shall be subject to a period of one year. Within this period of time the submissive will have enough time to find a suitable sub for her Dominant. If she fails to do so, the contract ends with the original agreement to marry each other when they turn thirty. The following contract is only intended to outline the twelve months between now and then and to lay down clear rules for the way they deal with each other in terms of sexual encounters. These rules are only valid during this period and have no bearing on the actual relationship between the two parties.

Kaden had already explained that these contracts were not meant to stand up in a court of law. It was not about being on the safe side legally, but about personal security and the gesture behind it. Some couples seemed to go as far as having the dominant part of the relationship own all the submissive part's possessions– something I didn't want to imagine.

No matter what kind of relationship you were in, platonic or romantic, outside of the bedroom you should always be on equal terms, at least in my opinion. When it came to sex, I was happy– I could see this now– for Kaden to take the lead. But outside of that, he was never going to be allowed to interfere or decide what I wanted to happen. I was a grown woman. The moment he stopped seeing me as such, or tried to change me into something else, our sexual relationship would come to an abrupt end. Kaden was not inclined to do this by nature, but even I understood that the boundaries could be blurred far too easily if care was not taken to make them clear and unambiguous.

Dependence was always poisonous. That was why it had no place in this kind of relationship. So I was surprised to find myself thinking about these issues for the first time. And all of this because I was supposed to sign a contract with Kaden that was supposed to regulate the way we would play with each other.

Even though I was alone, I shook my head a little. I just couldn't believe how much I needed to evolve to keep up with Kaden's lifestyle.

Nevertheless, I looked at the first paragraph.

1. The submissive has the right to refuse an order at any time, with an explanation of the reasons. In principle, however, the submissive has to comply with all requests without asking any questions. No order may cause serious physical injury, permanent damage or trauma.

The fact that we were not Kaden and Nikau in this contract bothered me enormously. It was as if we were two other people who could only be seen from the outside, and who could be called submissive and Dominant without making any difference. But for me, it was there– because I didn't want to turn into a different person when I discovered that side of myself. For other people, this demarcation may have been necessary to keep in touch with reality and to maintain a clear boundary, but for me it just felt wrong. I felt uncomfortable even reading about it.

2. Accordingly, the welfare and safety of the submissive is paramount. The Dominant undertakes to ensure that these criteria are met at all times.

The second rule sounded much more uncharitable than what I had read in his handwritten rules. The contract seemed to have taken all emotion and feeling out of the equation and reduced everything to a sterile level. But I didn't want that. Kaden was not a stranger. He was my best friend. And if I didn't find him in the words of the contract, it would be very difficult for me to sign it in the end.

Did he think this was what I needed? Or was it really just a matter of him having a soft spot for it? What did he think I was going to choose? Which of the two contracts would I end up signing?

3. Possible penalties are not up for discussion and are to be accepted– under the aspects already mentioned. Hard limits also apply. None of the sanctions can be based on actual abuse.

Abuse. Fuck. This was not a point I wanted to read or discuss at all. We were adults, after all, and both his opinion and mine carried weight, whether we were in a dynamic like this or not. Did he really think we were in danger of what had happened to his parents?

I closed my eyes for a moment. Why hadn't he told me before? At the time when it happened, or in the years since? I had to force myself to read on.

4. The Dominant agrees to attend all dates arranged by the submissive. In the case of a successful date, the contract will be considered to be null and void. The submissive is not allowed to go on dates with other men (or women) for the duration of the contract, unless she has the explicit order or consent of the Dominant.

At least one point that made me smile. Kaden promised to go on all the dates I arranged for him– as if he'd toyed with the idea of avoiding them because he didn't believe in my success.

But again, I read something I had not expected from Kaden. Was he really afraid that I would cheat on him? Had that happened to him in other relationships? Did that play a part in his distancing himself from any feelings? So many questions, and yet I wasn't quite sure if Kaden would ever volunteer an answer.

I had expected the next point, but it still brought new questions. And insights.

5. All points in this relationship remain secret.

Of course, he didn't want me to talk to the press. Not that I had ever intended to, certainly not since that unpleasant encounter in the restaurant. But until then I had firmly believed he was relatively indifferent to how he was portrayed in the media. All his other relationships, however, had been scrutinized by the press. His former playmates had given interviews, gushed about him and painted a picture that almost made him out to be a sex-crazed bachelor, scaring off women by the dozen with his quirky tastes.

Maybe it was time to get rid of that image for good and to show him in the media as the man that he really was. Even if it meant putting myself in the spotlight. Changing an entrenched image required credible sources.

Although there was still much to be considered in this regard, I read on.

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